I dropped a ball

As a working mom, and more importantly I think, as a working freelancer, I am constantly juggling dozens of balls at any time. I have many clients, and have to keep all their issues in my head, all their tasks on my to-do lists (and I must have to-do lists!), and I have to remember to account for my time and bill and so on.

As a mom, I have to keep track of everyone's schedules, book lessons and playdates, sitters and daycares, summer camps and carpet cleaners, and so on.I live my life by the watch and the calendar, constantly trying to get everything done on time, kids to bed at the right moment, dinner served right at six, and so on.

It's a seriously difficult juggling act. And this week I dropped a ball.

I missed a key deadline. Not for a client, but for my son. I missed the Thursday deadline to sign him up for little league this Spring. And because I was two days late getting the application in, the league we've played in for two years (and I mean "we", since I've been coaching his team all this time), the one we really felt a part of, the one his closest friends play in, the sport he loves above all others, says they won't let him play this year. Somehow, if I'd gotten the application in on Thursday, they'd have had a place for him, but by Saturday, they didn't.

Now, it's not as dire as it sounds, because the league in the next neighborhood over from us is not as uptight as our old league about living within their boundaries, and their registration deadline was Sunday, and he will know a few kids from school who play in that league, and it's not that far from where we live. And they guaranteed him a spot. So he'll play there, and I will coach.

But of course both he and I are very upset about our old league. They had really made us feel a part of the community, of the little league association, or something important. And for two days, they've tossed us to the curb (and I begged, all weekend, but their exact words were "We're full. He's on the waiting list, but don't hold your breath."). I feel like I've been duped this past two years into belonging to something to which I never really mattered.

And we'll have to go back to the first league next year or the year after, because the in-boundary thing matters the older the kids get and the better they play (for all stars, etc.). But I won't coach for them again. I've been burned.

Anyhow, this bad thing happened, along with all the bad feelings, because I dropped a ball. I forgot about the deadline.

My son has forgiven me, but I haven't. I went out yesterday and bought a new wipe-off calendar for the fridge, with colour coded markers to write down everyone's schedules. And I held my first family meeting, telling everyone to take responsibility for their own schedules, and stop expecting me to remind you every day of swimming lessons and vet appointments.

I don't know how long the new system will work, especially because my husband hasn't bought into it. But at least it makes me feel like maybe I don't have to juggle everything alone.

Still, I dropped an important ball, and can't let that happen again.

Back to work in a big way

As a freelancer, there are busy times and slow times. I used to think I could predict the slow times. Summers were slow, so anything from late May to late August was slow. Christmas is a slow time, and anything after December 1 until January 5ish was slow.

There are exceptions. Some years I've had immensely busy summers. Well, one year. And a few times I had busy Christmas seasons, since I don't celebrate Christmas and agreed to work through the holiday time. But generally, these rules hold true.

When work is generally steady and busy, the slow times are a luxury. You can take it easy, enjoy the chance to shop, hang out, meet people for coffee, network, even spend time with the kids. And not worry about work, since things will pick up soon. Some lucky years I even had projects lined up to start in September or January, so I didn't have to worry about the slow times at all.

Of course, when things haven't gone terribly well in what ought to be the busy months, slow times are very tough. You can't enjoy the quiet because you're freaking out about when the next thing will come through.

Lucky enough (and surprisingly, given the general "freak out" about the bad economy), this is one of the enjoy-the-slow-season years. Summer was pretty calm, and I knew by late July that I'd have this part-time job coming in September, which guaranteed me a decent income and enough work to see me through. So I enjoyed the summer, took it easy, and spent time with my kids. Still, I was pretty grateful for school to start up again and them to head back out of my house and me to knuckle back down.

And now I have just finished a couple quiet weeks over Christmas, knowing that I still have the part time job for now, and that another contract was starting up this week. So I did take it easy over the break. It helped that I was snowed in a lot of the last two weeks and had little choice about going anywhere. But I actually enjoyed hanging out at home, seeing more of my kids (that's a first for me!), and taking it easy. I did have some work, and even came into the office for one day. But mostly it was quiet.

But all that changed this week. The new contract did come through and I have to kick it into high gear starting now. And the job is still here, and after a sit down with the President this morning, I've got a huge to-do list. Plus the project I did slowly over the holidays is back for revisions, which I must do this week.

Suddenly I'm in busy mode again. But for the first time, I'm finding it hard to get my ass in gear and put my nose to the grindstone (did I just mix metaphors?). I want to go back to the lazy mornings and easy days. I want to take it easy and not carry around the mental stress of all the work I have to do.

Alas, such is the life of a freelancer. Busy is good, because busy means income. So I'm supposed to be happy about this stage.

The only silver lining for me this week is that we're going on vacation next week. Six days till sun and sand. And all my clients know I'm going, and are working around me. Of course, such is also the lot of a freelancer. To take time off, I have to work extra hard before I go, keep on top of emails while I'm gone, then work extra hard when I return. But hopefully, I'll leave the mental stress behind and enjoy the beach.

Of course, we're taking the kids, so it's not like I can leave ALL the stress behind. ;-)

Buy Nothing Day

Today is Buy Nothing Day around the world. It was yesterday in the US, the biggest shopping day of the year being the Friday after American Thanksgiving. And since the economy is in the toilet, you'd think this would be an easy day to get behind.

I was all for it. I wrote up Buy Nothing Day yesterday in my email newsletter to 1200 moms (a weekly output of my side business encouraging them to take part. And I planned my shopping yesterday so I could get it all bought the day before.

So much for my plans. Yes, I bought fruit and veggies yesterday, but turns out we're out of eggs and milk, so I'll have to get some groceries today.

And I bought my son new runners yesterday (third pair in three months! I don't know how he manages it.), but forgot to repair the zipper on my other kid's jacket, so I have to go pay for that today too. Plus one of my kids is "desperate" for a pencil sharpener. That makes three stores I have to go to today.

Ah well, at least my heart is in the right place. I think it's a might unfair to expect a working mom to buy nothing on a Saturday. Maybe on a Tuesday next year?

Invading my space

It's the last week of summer holidays, although judging by all the rain today it's hard to tell what season we're in. Next week the kids go back to school full time and hopefully my husband will get back to his regular working hours (although having had most of the month off with someone else covering all his work, I worry he won't go back or will try to go back for just some of it. This worries me in part because we do need his income, and he has no plan to do anything else. Also because when he's not at work, he's at home, in my space.), and it can't come fast enough for me.

I know I'm about to start a part time job, with two days at an office outside of home, but the other days I want my house back. All summer I've wanted my house back. This isn't just a housewife complaining that her family is underfoot, although that's part of it. But this is my workplace, and I'm sick of my family taking it away from me.

I don't have a real office in our house. I have a nook, kinda carved out with a bookcase for a bit of privacy, but basically my workspace is in the playroom. So everyone is always in here when they're home. When I'm home alone, it's a lovely spot to work. It's central so I don't feel jammed into the basement, I have a huge window right at my desk so I can watch the birds on the backyard feeders. And it's bright and cheery.

But when someone else is home, I feel invaded, no matter how quiet they are. And this summer, between half-day camps, days off and my husband being home this whole month, I have felt very invaded. It's not just that I can't concentrate on work. If that were the only issue I'd unplug my laptop, grab my cordless phone and go to my bedroom where I can shut the door and have some quiet. Thank goodness for wireless internet.

But it's more than that. I see the whole house as my office, not just my workspace, so when someone else is here, it's a loss of privacy. I know they're my family and they live here too, but I just feel, well, invaded. I can't wait until we settle back down into a regular routine next week.


Yeah, back to school!!!

Jurassic Park and other kiddie films

My sons are still pretty young, but my older one is entering the second grade and while I don't like to expose him to too many violent movies, his buddies all seem to be seeing films like Indiana Jones, Star Wars and other stuff that I think is too violent. Am I a big prude because I want to keep the gory and war-ry stuff away from my little guys?

This issue comes up for us now because of Jurassic Park, the 1993 classic (can it be a classic when it's only 15 years old?). We just got back from a great family holiday where we drove to Dinosaur Provincial Park. The boys are now all over anything dinosaur related, so I thought I'd go rent them the film that brought Dinosaurs to life for me, Jurassic Park. But it's rated PG, and I remember being pretty scared of some of the chase and eating scenes, and I was 25 when it came out. So do I let my kids see it?

On the one hand, I want to be the overprotective mom and shield them from this kind of thing. On the other hand, movies like this and ET and Star Wars are a big part of pop culture, and I don't want my kids to be left out if everyone else they hang out with has been exposed to those kinds of things. Imagine being the only kid in the 80s who didn't get the joke when someone said "No Coke, Pepsi!"

If these kinds of pop images form a generation and inform our modern culture, where do you draw the line between keeping your kid up to date and being overprotective?

Old-fashioned driving vacation

When I was a kid, my family took a lot of car trips. We lived in the middle of the country on the prairies, so driving anywhere meant long periods in the car. I don't remember the car parts as much as I remember where we went to, but I also don't remember the car parts as being tortuous.

Well, now I'm the parent and my family is setting off tomorrow for an eight day trip, with basically four full days of driving involved. I am anti-DVD in the car, but I have loaded up the ipods with lots of audio books, have car games ready, surprise snacks, yadda yadda. As the parent, at least at this point in the holiday, all I can focus on is the car part.

But I think the kids will really love our destination -- Dinosaur Provincial Park. And yes, we'll camp there, but we've got hotels planned for the first two days of driving and a two-day stop at a friend's house on the way back. I'm sure it will be fine. Just like when I was a kid.

I hope.

I said yes

I called the association that offered me the part time job and yesterday I accepted their offer. We agreed that I would start the second week of September (once my littlest guy starts kindergarten), and that we'd work out the details between now and then.

I'm pretty excited about the possibilities, but now have to start making lists of things I need to do before I jump in. First, I need to sort out a new cell phone. Mine is very old, at least three years, and doesn't get email. I will definitely need email, especially for the 45 minute commute in each direction. And I don't want to use webmail at the office, because I've heard a lot of horror stories about companies having the right to read all my email if I access it over their servers, even if it's an outside account. And I need to decide which two days I'll give up to office life. And I need new clothes. I don't have the wardrobe for a job, even at two days a week. Do you think I can wear jeans at least once a week?

This is a big step, but hopefully it's the right one, and a right one in the right direction to offering me more of the security I'm missing as a freelancer, without giving up the freedom and the opportunities I love as a freelancer.

When I called the VP to say I'd take the offer, he was very, very happy, and made me feel welcomed right away. And the office manager emailed the same day too to start talking about what I'll need for office space, admin help, etc. Those things really helped make me feel I'd made the right choice.

The other clincher was my kids. My older son, the seven year old, spent last night at a sleepover, something he only recently felt old enough to do. And my younger guy, now out of daycare as of last week, spent his first day at camp, at the same program that runs after-school care at his soon-to-be school, and when I picked him up, he seemed older, more mature. I took both those facts as signs my kids are moving on, and this is therefore the right time for this kind of change.

I guess 40 really is a watershed year for me, and my whole family.