40 – Now What?

Ghost blogging taking up too much time

2009-04-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

I know it's silly to have a blog then post nothing for a month or two except a self-pitying birthday note. I'm a sad little blogger.

At least I am here. But I've been blogging my heart out elsewhere for a client, and it's been a strange experience.

For my part time job (no, they haven't let me go yet), I've been writing blog entries for three months now. The association I work for is taking a stand as a third party in the election going on now in my province, and among our tactics is to host a blog and to twitter. And as the resident writer, I've been writing nearly all of it.

At first it was just another writing assignment, one that required me to think against my own ideology. My name isn't anywhere on it, and just as well since my personal politics are quite a bit left of my employer's, so I could have fun with it. Still, my president read everything before I posted it and he notched up the right-wing rhetoric and/or the nastiness a bit every time. So one day I decided to do it his way and let him notch me down if needed. It was right around the time that the party we're against had a candidate make anti-Zionist comments, which offended me personally. And after that I had a small axe of my own to grind, and got a bit more nasty myself

Anyhow, for the last while I've been having a great time blogging for them. I write pithy comments, find fun stuff to blog about or tweet, and have really loved the writing.

One of the reasons for starting this blog was to air my personal problems in a public, yet semi-anonymous way, and to talk them out loud (in print). But it was also to become more familiar with the world of blogging. Clients of mine need me to explain these kinds of things like social media, so the better I understood them, the better I could do my job. And I've gained a lot of experience about what to do right (and even more about what to do wrong). But blogging for my client these last few months, I've gained an even better understanding of how to blog.

Now can I call myself a "social media expert" too?

41...and counting

2009-03-18T12:46:00.000-07:00

Today is my 41st birthday. And so far I'm not all that excited.

Forty was a big year.I did the triathlon, I challenged my assumptions about work. I started blogging. We took a trip to celebrate. Things happened around my 40th birthday. But 41? Nada.

Now, as I drift deeper into my 40s, birthdays are nothing special. I know, birthdays lost their luster sometime between 13 and 30, but either way, it doesn't seem worth bothering with a birthday anymore. I don't mind admitting my age, and am not suggesting that I'll hide it or start counting backwards or anything (don't laugh--I know several women who do just that once they get to 39!). But what's the point of this day itself anymore?

My day so far? Well, for starters, I'm still sick. I have had the flu for six days, and while this is my third day without a fever, I'm still lethargic, low in appetite and coughing et al. So fun fun there. I woke up at the usual early hour of 7:01 when my younger son charged in to tell us the time and ask permission to go downstairs. No "happy birthday mommy" or hugs or anything. Then hubby rolled over to show me he woke up happy, but still no greeting. So I get up, shower, and come back to the room to get dressed. At last hubby remembers to say Happy Birthday. Woopie. I go down where younger son remembers and hugs and kisses ensue momentarily, but frankly I need to leave to catch my bus. Older son ignores me and says nothing right until I walk out the door.

Lucky me today is an office day, so I start my work day with a meeting that piles on more work, where I firmly stick my foot in my mouth and later get chastised for it by my boss. Oh yeah, and for good measure he mentions that he is still unsure about working with me long term. Just when I was feeling mildly secure in my part time job. Not that he was being mean. I probably deserved it after the foot-in-mouth thing. I tell boss that he is taking up more of my time lately than agreed. He says figure it out -- stop doing some of my work. Not the answer I wanted (I wanted to bring in more help or be paid for more time). Not a great workday so far.

I got an e-card from my father. What ever happened to paper cards or phone calls? I did get a card from the office gang, which was a surprise since I didn't think they knew when my birthday was, as I'm a contractor and never had to fill in employment forms. But they did, so I have one of those cute cards where everyone writes a few cute words. It's sweet, in a not-very-personal kind of way.

And now I'm working the rest of the day here, feeling discontent with the job, worrying about all the other work I have to do this week when we're supposed to take the kids to Seattle tomorrow for a couple days of Spring Break. And feeling a bit sorry for myself that my birthday is such a non-event.

So I think next year I will lower my expectations significantly. Getting a year older is fine, but expecting the birthday itself to be special is silly. It's an antiquated idea I've carried over from my childhood, and once I think it's time I outgrew. I am not 10, nor am I 30. Maybe at 50 I can step up expectations a bit, for the next eight years after today, I'll expect nearly nothing.

And who knows, if the kids surprise me with a big dinner and cards and gifts (which I guess might still be waiting for me at home tonite), it will be even sweeter.

I think that's the lesson I've learned in turning 41 -- lower expectations make it much easier to let life exceed expectations. Seems kinda sad for a birthday lesson, but I'm old now, I guess I'm allowed to wallow a bit, right?

Reading resumes

2009-03-02T13:37:00.000-08:00

Today a colleague at my part time job asked me to read over some resumes that had come in for a position he's hiring. I had written the job description, and while the job is for an executive assistant, there is hope this person we hire will have some communications skills to back me up, at least in an administrative capacity. So he asked me to read the resumes, the stack I got having been already filtered once to weed out the chaff. And I found myself surprised all the same at the reasons I had for ranking people.

It's funny what sticks out in a resume. One woman left a period off the end of her first paragraph. One girl's resume printed with really weird formatting. One lady wrote in what I think she thought was a witty style, but it came off as brash and self-important. Not a one of the resumes I saw mentioned the two software programs we listed as assets for the job. None mentioned that they had experience in the two industries our association works in, despite the assocation being clearly identified.

I think the strangest thing to catch my eye, though, was how much I liked reading about their interests or extra-curricular activities. One lady was into drag racing. She had a really strong resume, but the drag racing just made her seem so interesting. She's getting an interview.

For years as a freelancer I've heard about resume writing and how HR people look for anything to get one off the read-me pile -- anything to reject you -- but until I had to go through them today myself it hadn't really hit home. So here are a few tips from me:

1. Write a targeted cover letter: Don't just regurgitate the job description, but do address the main points. Don't just tell me you're the ideal candidate -- show me why. We really do read the cover letters -- they are much more than window dressing.

2. Proofread, spellcheck and PDF: The format and style of your resume does matter. Spelling mistakes are fatal, especially for a job description that includes admin work and proofreading. And bad formatting can ruin your chances, so always PDF the file you're sending to be sure it will print the way you want it to. We do print them out.

3. Be interesting: Finding the right person is all about how they'll fit in, so tell the employer something about yourself that isn't in descriptions of previous jobs. What do you do with your spare time?

4. Explain why you're job hunting: There's a recession on, so lots of people are looking for work. There's no shame in it, but you need to explain why you're looking. Want to go from part time to full time? Returning to work after a break? Bad fit at your last job? It's the same thing as meeting a great single person -- if you're such a great catch, why are you available?

5. Show that you know something about the company you are applying to: If it's a small office, say why a small office suits you. If it's in a particular industry, show that either you know the industry or that you're able to get up to speed quickly. Read the company's website, even if it's an admin job. It will give you the edge.

I hope we find the right candidate here. I can't say any of the ones I read today struck me as the ideal person, but interviews should help us figure that out.

I dropped a ball

2009-02-18T11:58:00.000-08:00

As a working mom, and more importantly I think, as a working freelancer, I am constantly juggling dozens of balls at any time. I have many clients, and have to keep all their issues in my head, all their tasks on my to-do lists (and I must have to-do lists!), and I have to remember to account for my time and bill and so on.

As a mom, I have to keep track of everyone's schedules, book lessons and playdates, sitters and daycares, summer camps and carpet cleaners, and so on.I live my life by the watch and the calendar, constantly trying to get everything done on time, kids to bed at the right moment, dinner served right at six, and so on.

It's a seriously difficult juggling act. And this week I dropped a ball.

I missed a key deadline. Not for a client, but for my son. I missed the Thursday deadline to sign him up for little league this Spring. And because I was two days late getting the application in, the league we've played in for two years (and I mean "we", since I've been coaching his team all this time), the one we really felt a part of, the one his closest friends play in, the sport he loves above all others, says they won't let him play this year. Somehow, if I'd gotten the application in on Thursday, they'd have had a place for him, but by Saturday, they didn't.

Now, it's not as dire as it sounds, because the league in the next neighborhood over from us is not as uptight as our old league about living within their boundaries, and their registration deadline was Sunday, and he will know a few kids from school who play in that league, and it's not that far from where we live. And they guaranteed him a spot. So he'll play there, and I will coach.

But of course both he and I are very upset about our old league. They had really made us feel a part of the community, of the little league association, or something important. And for two days, they've tossed us to the curb (and I begged, all weekend, but their exact words were "We're full. He's on the waiting list, but don't hold your breath."). I feel like I've been duped this past two years into belonging to something to which I never really mattered.

And we'll have to go back to the first league next year or the year after, because the in-boundary thing matters the older the kids get and the better they play (for all stars, etc.). But I won't coach for them again. I've been burned.

Anyhow, this bad thing happened, along with all the bad feelings, because I dropped a ball. I forgot about the deadline.

My son has forgiven me, but I haven't. I went out yesterday and bought a new wipe-off calendar for the fridge, with colour coded markers to write down everyone's schedules. And I held my first family meeting, telling everyone to take responsibility for their own schedules, and stop expecting me to remind you every day of swimming lessons and vet appointments.

I don't know how long the new system will work, especially because my husband hasn't bought into it. But at least it makes me feel like maybe I don't have to juggle everything alone.

Still, I dropped an important ball, and can't let that happen again.

What generation are my kids?

2009-02-16T10:33:00.000-08:00

Via GenXpert, I found another Gen X blogger, The Gen X Files, which led me to an interesting thought. Dave who writes this blog is a Gen Xer, and has a couple of kids, the younger of whom is 8, about the same age as my older son. And Dave says his kids are Millenials, or Gen Y. But are they?

I know we like to put labels on everything, to put people into convenient boxes so we can classify them, clarify them, and of course market to them. And that works to some degree, but sometimes we draw the box too broadly.

Take the boomers. They've been defined as the children of the post-war generation who came of age in the 60s and 70s. Who are now entering the last decade or so of work, starting to be grandparents, etc. I loved the label Generation X when Douglas Copeland first defined it. We were the gap generation, not the boomers, not the children of boomers. Our parents were born during World War Two. We came of age in the 80s, and entered the work world right when all the boomers swelled the ranks and left no openings, when bad times hit the economy and our hopes of life-long employers like our parents had had was a wasted dream.

The generation right after us, the echo boom, Gen Y, Millenials, or whatever name they go by, had it better. Their parents hovered, sheltered, and made life easier for them (which is in no way to be interpreted as a swipe at our parents, who did a fine job!). Because they were numerous where Gen X was few, they were a desired audience, so media paid attention to them in spades, as did marketers. They grew up in a more digital world, with video games, home computers, and ubiquitous cell phones and internet. They wouldn't know how to dial a rotary phone, load the paper in a typewriter, or maybe even crank the film forward in a camera.

Right. That's us, that's them. But what about my kids? They are the children of Gen Xers through and through, born at the beginning of the 2000s (does that decade have a name yet?). They are growing up in the shadow of Gen Y, although that shadow is nowhere near as suffocating as the boomers' shadow under which I grew up. Are they a generation of their own, or will they be lumped in with the group 15-20 years older than them? What do we know about my children's generation?

Wikipedia defines Gen Y as born right up to 2000. My son was born in 2001. Some have called this group Generation Z (we're going to run out of letters soon!). Another Wikipedia article says Generation Z starts with those born after 1997 (although the same article as says those born after 1991).

While my googling is hardly extensive research, I think it helps prove my point that whatever generation and whatever their defining characteristics come to define my children, they are not Gen Y. I hope their generation gets what ours lacked -- enough numbers to have advantages but small enough to not lose out in the workplace.

Being without a job is new to Gen Y

2009-02-11T15:00:00.000-08:00

I have spent most of my career being between jobs. Of course, I've been basically freelancing for the last dozen years, so that's to be expected. But it's also a function of my generation.

I entered the work force around 1990, when a recession was underway (nothing like this one, which is global, but still there were no jobs) and full time jobs were unheard of for the average university grad. My parents worked for the same employers most of their working lives, but I came to work not expecting to stay anywhere for too long. Luckily I managed to cobble together a career out of it, but being without work was a pretty common thing for me.

So I pity the newly unemployed Gen Ys, especially those just starting to buy homes and start families. Because they've spent their entire working careers in a labour environment where they could call all the shots, ask for the moon and get it. And now this, where they may not be able to find any work, or at least any work above serving coffee at Starbucks (or are they laying off too?).

Okay, maybe pity isn't the first word I would have used there. I'm a typical Gen Xer -- bitter about the raw hand demographics and timing have dealt me, so part of me can't help but smirk, maybe even chuckle, at this situation Gen Yers are now in, because it's about time they felt my pain.

But then today I read Penelope Trunk's column on what to say to someone who'd been laid off, and her straightforward, make-it-easier-on-them advice kind of shamed me. So now it's more like pity.

And in that case, I offer some advice. You'll get through it, you'll still manage in the long run, and people like me are here to help if we can.

Twitter -- is there a point?

2009-02-09T14:26:00.000-08:00

A friend and colleague dragged me into Twitter last week, and while I've now got 20 followers and have posted a bunch of stuff, I'm not sure I see the point yet. So people are pointing me to some links. Don't they have jobs to do that make these constant posts difficult? Isn't hearing from them once or even twice a day on Facebook enough?

What can you do on Twitter that you can't do on Facebook or email? How can it have any effect on my business or even my life? I can see how mundane it can be to see what everyone had for breakfast, but is it any less mundane to know what a blogger friend is working on before she posts to her blog?

I'm still waiting to see why I'd need this. In the meantime, I'll go tweet something terribly profound. Like how the sun is shining in Vancouver today.

No job? Join the army

2009-02-05T11:35:00.001-08:00

Via Penelope Trunk, I found a link to an article from a couple months back that says that the recession is driving up enrollment in the US military. I suppose it makes sense. When the jobs disappear in this economy, rich 20-somethings will go back to university, and poor Gen Ys will enlist. Seems like a reasonable idea, unless there were a war on. Oh wait, there is a war on. Two in the US, last I looked.

In some cases, the peace of mind that comes with good benefits and a regular paycheck is overcoming concerns about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, which any new enlistee is likely to join.

Doesn't seem fair that poorer Americans are forced into this kind of choice.

Haven't posted for a while now...

2009-02-02T15:34:00.000-08:00

I have become one of those people who has a blog but doesn't write on it. I guess I thought no one was listening, and got a bit tired of writing to myself. But maybe that's the point. If I write to myself, maybe others will come.

So I'm posting today, and will try to do it more often.

Of course, today's not the best day for this for me. I'm annoyed with my kids, my work, my clients, etc. I'm in a funk. You know, one of those moods where nothing in particular is wrong but you're upset anyhow, where you feel a bit angry but are not really sure at what. Where you have the vague sense that tears are close to the surface but there's nothing going on in particular that makes you want to cry.

That mood. Maybe it's hormones. After all, 41 is just around the corner, and I hear pre-menopause can start anytime now. Or maybe it's a general sense of dread because after my first mammogram last month, they want me to come in for a follow-up mammogram tomorrow. They're very reassuring -- it happens all the time, could be nothing -- but still I worry.

Or maybe that's not it. Maybe I'm just in a mood. But hey, I wrote about it. Anyone reading?

Back to work in a big way

2009-01-07T13:02:00.000-08:00

As a freelancer, there are busy times and slow times. I used to think I could predict the slow times. Summers were slow, so anything from late May to late August was slow. Christmas is a slow time, and anything after December 1 until January 5ish was slow.

There are exceptions. Some years I've had immensely busy summers. Well, one year. And a few times I had busy Christmas seasons, since I don't celebrate Christmas and agreed to work through the holiday time. But generally, these rules hold true.

When work is generally steady and busy, the slow times are a luxury. You can take it easy, enjoy the chance to shop, hang out, meet people for coffee, network, even spend time with the kids. And not worry about work, since things will pick up soon. Some lucky years I even had projects lined up to start in September or January, so I didn't have to worry about the slow times at all.

Of course, when things haven't gone terribly well in what ought to be the busy months, slow times are very tough. You can't enjoy the quiet because you're freaking out about when the next thing will come through.

Lucky enough (and surprisingly, given the general "freak out" about the bad economy), this is one of the enjoy-the-slow-season years. Summer was pretty calm, and I knew by late July that I'd have this part-time job coming in September, which guaranteed me a decent income and enough work to see me through. So I enjoyed the summer, took it easy, and spent time with my kids. Still, I was pretty grateful for school to start up again and them to head back out of my house and me to knuckle back down.

And now I have just finished a couple quiet weeks over Christmas, knowing that I still have the part time job for now, and that another contract was starting up this week. So I did take it easy over the break. It helped that I was snowed in a lot of the last two weeks and had little choice about going anywhere. But I actually enjoyed hanging out at home, seeing more of my kids (that's a first for me!), and taking it easy. I did have some work, and even came into the office for one day. But mostly it was quiet.

But all that changed this week. The new contract did come through and I have to kick it into high gear starting now. And the job is still here, and after a sit down with the President this morning, I've got a huge to-do list. Plus the project I did slowly over the holidays is back for revisions, which I must do this week.

Suddenly I'm in busy mode again. But for the first time, I'm finding it hard to get my ass in gear and put my nose to the grindstone (did I just mix metaphors?). I want to go back to the lazy mornings and easy days. I want to take it easy and not carry around the mental stress of all the work I have to do.

Alas, such is the life of a freelancer. Busy is good, because busy means income. So I'm supposed to be happy about this stage.

The only silver lining for me this week is that we're going on vacation next week. Six days till sun and sand. And all my clients know I'm going, and are working around me. Of course, such is also the lot of a freelancer. To take time off, I have to work extra hard before I go, keep on top of emails while I'm gone, then work extra hard when I return. But hopefully, I'll leave the mental stress behind and enjoy the beach.

Of course, we're taking the kids, so it's not like I can leave ALL the stress behind. ;-)

Recession will be tough for Gen Y

2009-01-02T09:59:00.000-08:00

This isn't my first recession. I believe my career was defined in large part by the lack of work that came out of the last recession in the 90s, just when I finished school. So this doesn't scare me as much as it might some of the newer workers whose entire careers have been focused around their wants and needs. And part of me can't help but gloat a bit about that.

This Dilbert cartoon really sums it up:

My perfect latkes

2008-12-29T13:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I fullfilled a year's worth of social obligations by hosting an open house for Chanukah. We had more than 40 people in our teeny house, with kids running mad in the back half and grownups sipping mulled wine and nibbling food in the front half. I love that about my house -- the playroom is separate from the living room and parties always break out this way.

I served my famous latkes -- famous mainly because few of our friends are Jewish or if they are, no one bakes them like I do. I don't really have my own recipe -- I fake most of the quanities, but I do have a secret. And since I ought to post something today, here's my recipe, which I'm now writing out for the first time:

5 lbs of potatoes (or if you have big plans like my party, double or triple this!)
1 medium onion
3 tbsp flour
2 eggs
1-2 tsp salt
1/2-1 tsp pepper
Lots of oil

Peel potatoes. Rest wrists, and whatever you do, don't try to bowl that night (lesson learned the hard way while husband gloated). Peel onion and chop in half.

Using food processor (unless you are masochistic!), grate potatoes and onions in batches. Change to main blade in food processor. Process shredded stuff in batches with a short burst, 20 seconds or so, to make mixture less stringy. Using hands, then squeeze out all the liquid handful by handful. Rest hands again. Get wrist massage if possible (not in my house, but maybe your partner is more into this than mine).

Add flour, egg, salt and pepper to mixture. Heat oil in frying pan over medium heat. Using large spoon, drop latke-sized amount of batter onto frying pan. When brown edges appear, flip latkes until golden brown on both sides. Remove from pan to paper towel (to absorb a lot of the oil -- don't want them greasy!).

Serve hot, with sour cream and/or apple sauce.

There, family secret recipe revealed. The trick is the second run through the food processor, and of course squeezing out the potato liquid.

Happy Chanukah!

Carla

Who gets the last word in emails?

2008-12-22T15:48:00.000-08:00

I'm in PR , and today I pitched a story to a reporter who writes for my local daily and who also has a blog. She bit and wrote back, so I sent her a document, and later she emailed to tell me she posted it on her blog, so I wrote back to say thanks and happy holidays, and she wrote back to say me too.

I've stopped the back and forth now, but who should have the last word, and when do you stop thanking someone for an email greeting?

This happens a lot, when you send someone something, they write thanks, do you write back that they're welcome and so on? Is it rude not to answer every email? But if it is, when is it okay to stop replying? There must be an etiquette guide for this kind of thing.

Anyhow, happy Hanukkah and Christmas to you all. Maybe I'll get lots of comments now wishing me the same back, so I'll comment back to them, and so on, and so on.....

The morning commute

2008-12-17T13:03:00.000-08:00

Normally when I have to come to my part time job, I bus. It's clear across town from my home, and I always suspected that the drive would be not much shorter than the bus ride, so why waste the gas, I thought, and why not sit and read. Of course, I spend a couple hours each work day just getting here and home, but I'm reading a lot of books.

Anyhow, earlier this week my office had a holiday potluck, so I needed to bring in food (I made latkes, potato pancakes we eat at Chanukah, a secret Santa gift (lucky me, even though I have a pedicure set at home I'm anxious to regift to someone, I drew a man about whom I knew nothing), and some clothes my kids had outgrown that I was passing on to someone here. So I drove. Of course, the one day I chose to drive turned out to be two days after we sold our second car and became a one-car family. It also turned out to be the day after Vancouver's first snow of the year. Do I pick 'em or what?

Anyhow, my loving husband, who of course believes he knows significantly more about driving than me (I admit he knows more about cars, but not about how to drive!), recommended a particular route to traverse the city eastward, and silly me, I listened to him. It turned out to be an incredibly slow-moving route, and it took me more than an hour to arrive at the office (the bus takes about 55 minutes door to door). Still, the driving wasn't too bad, roads were okay, and I picked my own route home and it was only 40 minutes.

And loving husband survived just fine without the car for the day. He got the kids to school, walked to the grocery store, etc. Good thing he didn't have to go to work that day though. And today I'm back on my bus -- thank goodness because first off, I missed my book time (I'm reading the John Grisham football novel now) and because it's snowing again, and much harder today. No point in taking my chances in a car when I can leave it to the bus driver to figure out how to drive up the hill.

Of course, it's still snowing as the day goes on, and this city doesn't cope well with snow, so I expect the commute home to be nuts. At least I'll have my book!

The office Christmas party

2008-12-10T14:28:00.000-08:00

Last night was my new office's Christmas, I mean Holiday party. Calling it a holiday party is silly -- it was all about Christmas, even though at least five of us don't celebrate Christmas. Whatever.

Anyhow, it was the first office party I've had to attend in many, many years, and the first my hubby had to be dragged to in many years. Mr. unsociable had the advantage though, since I agreed to be designated driver and he got to drink. I was pretty worried about the party -- I don't know these people very well, and I don't want to make the wrong impression. But at the same time, I wanted to appear sociable and fit in.

We were on a boat cruise, which while pleasant enough means there is no leaving early. We ended up at a table with people I didn't know, but older people (our office joined with another association for the party) and not the young'uns that make up most of my co-workers. Still, there was lots of mingling and mixing through the night, and I think I managed to convey just the right image in the end.

I didn't get out on the dance floor with the dozen young'uns and boyfriends, so I avoided looking like an old fogey trying to fit in. But we did a lot of schmoozing and chatting and got to know some people a bit better (especially the guy I have to buy a secret santa gift for). I had a fine time, but I can't say it was fabulous.

Of course, hubby became semi-social and had probably a better time than me. But then again, he was drinking. ;-)

Why Gen Xers like me won't have retirement parties

2008-12-04T15:29:00.000-08:00

Last night, I went to a retirement party for my favourite client. I'm very dissapointed to be losing this man as my client (I don't know if his replacement will keep working with me or not), but I am also sad to lose regular contact with him as he enters the retiree world.

So I stayed for hte whole party, including all the speeches. He has had a 39 career in the federal public service, so there were a lot of stories about old collegues (none of whom I know) and previous positions (I've only known him for three years). It was all a bit dull for me, but it made me think about what a retirement party for me or someone like me would be like.

And I realized that it wouldn't. I couldn't have a party with people there that had worked with me my whole career. I haven't stayed put anywhere long enough for that to happen, and I don't forsee that happening at any point in the rest of my career either.

A job for life is something the baby boomers had, but it's not something most Gen Xers have, nor is it at all something the generations following us will have. Does this mean retirement parties like my client's are soon to be a thing of the past? What will a retirement look like in twenty years? No gold watch, but will there be people to celebrate the end of work with, or will it just be a winding down and closing of doors.

Hmmmm....

Buy Nothing Day

2008-11-29T07:56:00.000-08:00

Today is Buy Nothing Day around the world. It was yesterday in the US, the biggest shopping day of the year being the Friday after American Thanksgiving. And since the economy is in the toilet, you'd think this would be an easy day to get behind.

I was all for it. I wrote up Buy Nothing Day yesterday in my email newsletter to 1200 moms (a weekly output of my side business encouraging them to take part. And I planned my shopping yesterday so I could get it all bought the day before.

So much for my plans. Yes, I bought fruit and veggies yesterday, but turns out we're out of eggs and milk, so I'll have to get some groceries today.

And I bought my son new runners yesterday (third pair in three months! I don't know how he manages it.), but forgot to repair the zipper on my other kid's jacket, so I have to go pay for that today too. Plus one of my kids is "desperate" for a pencil sharpener. That makes three stores I have to go to today.

Ah well, at least my heart is in the right place. I think it's a might unfair to expect a working mom to buy nothing on a Saturday. Maybe on a Tuesday next year?

Thinking back to the last year of high school as party prep

2008-11-21T09:08:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, some friends invited us to a house party. Yes, an honest-to-goodness house party, with chips and dip, a few kegs and even California Coolers. How do they get away with being grownups and throwing this high-school level party? They gave it a theme.

The theme here was wear what you wore your last year in high school (it was originally wear what you wore when you graduated, but it soon came to light that not everyone graduated in the traditional way, so they changed the theme). I graduated high school in 1985 (yes, if you're doing the math, that does mean I finished a year early. Smartie-pants here skipped fourth grade [social suicide by the way, but that's a whole other post. In fact, I think it's probably a whole other blog!]), so I searched for 80s clothes, and found myself tripping back to the early days.

Am I nostalgic for high school? Not in the least. It was nice to be young and not have ripples where my tummy used to be, but otherwise high school was not a happy-go-lucky time (see above re: social suicide). But I liked the clothes and styles when I was living in the 80s. Somehow they seemed fun and flattering. Of course now, with my retrospective eyesight, they look goofy and outdated. But boy, was it fun to dig out the leg warmers (no, I didn't wear them) and the shoulder pads (yes, I did).

I discovered that I actually had got rid of most of my 80s clothes. I thought I'd kept more, but being married to a man who tosses thing out as a hobby, it's hard to be a hoarder forever. But I did have skinny-legged jeans (not from back then -- the chances of my fitting jeans from then was so out-of-this-world -- heck, the chances of fitting jeans from before my babies were born is just as remote!), and I have a lovely blouse with huge shoulder pads (why haven't I tossed that yet I don't know!), So I tucked my blouse into my pants and pulled it out so it ruffled over my pants. Then I added a great scarf that has come back into style so-I'm-told, but one I remember wearing in a song competition in grade 11. And I found penny loafers in the back of the closet.

But the most fun part was the hair. I hated my curly hair in high school, and used to blow it dry so it turned out fluffy instead of curly. It gave the effect of big hair, which of course we wanted then. So I styled my 80s hair, added a bow, and I think I achieved the perfect look.

The real downer came when I got to the party. Because besides my husband, for most of the party, I was the oldest person there, and in this case we were wearing it on our sleeves (literally for all those 90s grads wearing their lettermen jackets from their private schools). Eventually a few 80s grads showed up, but the whole thing left me feeling:

a) old
b) glad it's not the 80s anymore
and

c) nostalgic for 90s styles.

And no, I didn't take a photo of myself dressed up, sorry.

Ideological differences at work may be a problem

2008-11-20T10:48:00.000-08:00

This part time job I've taken may not be the answer to all my problems after all. While I like the work and am growing more comfortable with the hours, I think my President isn't the kind of guy who can be comfortable with a telecommuting communications director. He's made a few comments lately that have me questioning how long he'll put up with the part time thing. He's from the old school, where everyone who worked for him served him, so despite being a nice guy, he likes being able to walk down the hall whenever he's in the office (which is less than half time in my experience so far) to ask a question, and is less comfortable with phone or email for that kind of thing.

So I'm starting to wonder if the solution for this company is really me, or if they really want a full timer. And now that the economy has tanked, even in our Olympic city, the job market has likely changed enough for him to find a full timer that meets his needs.

Then there's the ideological differences between us. I am generally a progressive, liberal thinker. I work for environmental causes, support all thing sustainable and generally lean away from conservatism. But this association is all about conservative, pro-business, anti-labour etc. While not every issue challenges my morals -- so far the biggest issue that might I'm okay with -- I can't see me doing this full time or long term when I don't agree with their ideology. And frankly, I think the President sees that too.

It's not that anyone has told me it's even close to over. I think we all think it's too soon to judge. And the personality fit so far is okay. I just think it's starting to come to light this week that my ideal work situation and their ideal communications situation may not be aligned in the long term.

So now what? Do I restart the blog as 41-now what? I'm a bit down about it all today. While I'm growing comfortable with the job, I'm also realizing that it won't last. So I'm back to the big question of what will I be when I grow up. And I have more questions now than answers. Plus, a year later my economic options are more limited than they were last year, which in itself raises more issues.

Perhaps I'll go back to my list of women in my field with more experience than me and restart my conversations with them, in order to gain more perspective and more clarity. The job isn't going anywhere in the next month or two, so I have a bit of a cushion to sort it out.

Or maybe I'll change my mind and decide this is the job situation for me, or even the employer for me. Or maybe they'll decide they like the challenge my ideals bring to their way of thinking, that having me around keeps them from "drinking their own bathwater" and offers an alternative point of view. Maybe they like what I have to offer skills-wise so much they work around my part time status.

Maybe... or maybe not...

Technology comfort and the generations

2008-11-17T14:54:00.000-08:00

My baby boomer client today showed his ignorance and disinterest in all things new technology.

We were discussing how he can have more face-time (don't you hate that buzzword?!) with me even if I'm not in his office, and I suggested we can set up webcams and do regular conference calls, and he waved his hand dismissively and said "Carla, I'm too old for that kind of high tech stuff." He's only in his early 50s, but really has no clue. I'm seeing the generational technology gap first hand right here.

All the 20-somethings in the office spend a bit of time every day on their Facebook pages. So do the 30-somethings, and I admit to checking mine fairly regularly too. But this guy barely knows what Facebook is. He didn't know what Twitter was until he read an article in the weekend newspaper. He was shocked to learn about Blackberry Messenger today, even though he's had a crackberry for years and years. I can't wait until I bridge the idea of a podcast to him next month.

I think the nicest thing about working for him is that even at 40, he makes me feel so young. ;-)

Grey hair -- to colour or not to colour, my child asks the question

2008-11-11T08:05:00.000-08:00

I have grey hair. In fact, I have many grey hairs. I also have many more dark brown ones, so overall my hair doesn't look very grey. But they're there, and they are quite visible.

As my son pointed out last night. We were sitting around the dinner table and he leans toward me, points towards the part in my hair at the scalp, and says "Gee mommy, you have a bunch of grey hair. Why don't you dye it?"

Good question, but still, who wants their grey hair pointed out?

I have dyed my hair before. Three times, to be exact, unless you count that time in high school when my sister and I did home highlights that turned the tips of my hair kind of burgandy in colour). I am not one to colour her hair. I've always liked my dark, full brown head of hair, and have always been one for the natural look. But last year when I turned 39, my hairdresser talked me into doing a colour. So I dyed out all the grey, and while I got a few compliments, mostly no one noticed. And no one said anything when the colour faded and the grey grew back in. I dyed it two more times this past year -- well, I turned 40 after all!! But they dye is growing out and the grey is growing in, and now someone has noticed.

Should I keep dying my hair to hide the grey? I guess I look younger without the grey, but I know I don't look 40, so does it matter? Should I stay a staunch advocate of the natural look, or use what humanity invented and hide the ravages of age?

Should I let my seven year old decide this for me?

I'm an asset now that my childbearing years are over

2008-11-10T12:58:00.000-08:00

When I was in discussions for my part time job, one of the guys said they liked the fact that I'm done having kids, since I won't be taking any more maternity leaves on their employ. At the time I didn't think much of it, but now that I'm here, I see his point.

I look around this office of about 20 people and there are about 10 women here who are expected to have a baby sometime in the next five years. Seriously. Imagine the turmoil when that starts happening!

The work here, outside of management jobs like mine and a few others, is mainly administrative, so there are a lot of women here between 25-35. A bunch of them are married, young, and three just bought their first homes last month. Three! They've all talked about "when I have kids" so you know it's on their minds.

So here we have it, another reason why a Gen Xer is an asset to a workplace -- my childbearing years are behind me! (and before you flame me telling me that women in their 40s have kids a lot, I know that, but I personally am done with having babies, and find that most women of 40 are also putting those years behind them.)

I wonder if Gen Y will be very different parents than us, especially when it comes to work-life balance? Hmmmmm

It's an old boys club -- but I don't mind

2008-11-03T14:04:00.000-08:00

My part time job is for a construction assocation, so it should come as little surprise that there are a lot of 'good old boys' around here. Not really on staff, because most of the work is administrative, which means that most of our staff are under 30 and ethnically diverse. But the background players, the power brokers, and the president and vice, the two staff with whom I interact the most, are definately in the 'old boys' vein.

There's a lot of swearing, and not a lot of genteel language when we three sit down to chat, which seems to be most workdays that I'm in the office.

But I find I don't mind. And I find that fact surprising. I've spent most of my career dealing with language, and I actually find it pretty refreshing to be able to use four letter words, in context only, when I want to. And there's nothing degrading or derogatory in the banter with these guys. If anything, it's honest and respectful, in a sometimes joking kind of way.

I think the reason I'm comfortable with the environment is that it doesn't feel exclusionary -- I fit in when we talk in that manner. And the fact that they include me in their usual manner, makes me feel more a part of things here. Whodathunk I'd be happy about an old boys style of work?

Cake in the workplace

2008-10-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

Today is an office day, so I'm at the client's, and I can't get over how much cake there is. Between meeting left overs, staff birthdays, and other stuff, people bring in a lot of cake.

Today alone, there was a box of donut holes to celebrate one twentysomething's birthday, leftover muffins from a morning meeting, and half a Costco cake one person brought in because it was left over from her kid's birthday party yesterday.

This office thing is not good for my waistline!

Sheesh, two weeks since I posted?

2008-10-23T15:25:00.000-07:00

How sad am I? More than two weeks of well meant intentions, great ideas and well thought out theses and I've managed to post nothing on this blog. Shame on me.

I had tons to say. I wanted to write about the pressure to party on Halloween, especially with it happening on a Friday this week.

I wanted to write about something going on at my job that is stretching my idealogy because I don't really agree with the stand my assocation is taking.

I wanted to write about the difficulty in managing the pressures of competing priorities between freelance clients and the job.

I wanted to write about my lack of comitment to excerzie since the triathlon and how my fitness and my weight are suffering.

I wanted to write about the Gen X/Gen Y dynamic I'm living in my workplace.

I wanted to write about the backroom-boys language and "joshing" I get with the two guys I work with the most.

I wanted to write more often. Now that I've listed all my blog ideas, maybe I will.

I hope.

Wanna buy my side business?

2008-10-06T06:44:00.000-07:00

Besides my part time job, and my full-time freelance career, I own another side business. I started it when I had my first baby and was looking for new challenges. The first year, my business did very well, and it justified about a third of my work time. Then the competition came in and it didn't pay as well anymore, so I kept it going but didn't put much time into it.

Six and a half years later, I still own and run the business, but barely spend much time on it. It's called Movies for Mommies, and I own the license rights for my area. Basically, I rent out an independent movie theatre every other week in the afternoon (used to be every week years ago but that doesn't make a lot of business sense anymore), and screen a grown-up film, and moms (and dads) with their babies come to watch a film. We make it all infant friendly, setting up a change table with free wipes and diapers, stroller parking, bottle warming, giving away samples and prizes, and bringing in speakers for short presentations before the film. Moms love us, and I have terrific word of mouth and great goodwill. I have a hostess who is at the theatre every screening, and most weeks I get 70-100 grown ups each screening.

Movies for Mommies has now expanded (I was the first licensee outside of Toronto) and we are now in five provinces. We now have national sponsors and national advertisers. I have local advertisers too, but not very many.

At the start, I was all over the city talking to moms groups, landing baby stores as advertisers, looking for RESP companies as sponsors. But after a few years, I stopped doing much marketing. Things tick along without my efforts, and my time gets better rewards working in PR. I still program the movies, deal with the theatre owner (!) and send out a weekly e-mail newsletter. I like picking the films and writing the e-newsletter, but all the rest is a bit tiresome. And I feel like someone else with more enthusiasm would do more for Movies for Mommies.

But despite discreetly putting out the word in "baby business" circles, I haven't found a buyer. So I keep it all ticking along. Mamma Mia got a good crowd this week, and The Women is coming next, so that should be popular. But with all the time pressure on me lately, it really seems like I should make a move to sell it.

I think one of the most frustrating things about owning this business is that I spend a lot of money to bring in a film for other people to see, but I don't have time during a weekday to sit and watch a film, so I don't get to see it until it comes out on DVD. I still haven't seen Sex and the City.

So, wanna buy my business? ;-)

Keeping all the balls in the air

2008-10-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy week. I've had to squeeze in the job (and the commute), three other client deadlines, and Rosh Hashana, which meant a day at synagogue and another day cooking for a crowd of 13. Dinner went great though, and I did make chicken soup with matzah balls and my grandmother's knishes.

I'm starting, though, to feel a bit overwhelmed. The fact that I haven't got around to blogging for more than a week proves that out. I'm worried I'm going to drop something, or forget something important. I have a large number of clients right now, some just finishing up a project, some just starting, others ongoing, and am worried I'll forget to do something for one of them. As it is, I realized this week that I have more than $4000 in outstanding invoices that I haven't been paid for yet, and I hadn't done a thing yet to chase them down (did yesterday, and am told cheques are in the mail).

It's always hard to keep on top of varied freelance stuff, but with the job, I have even more stuff to worry about.

At least, so far, all the balls are still in the air and I'm still standing.

Tethered to my email, or how I'm growing to love my blackberry

2008-09-26T15:09:00.000-07:00

For many, many years now I've refused to buy a blackberry, or really any device beyond a cell phone that forced me to be on constant call. I spend enough time at my computer, since it's my home and work station, and enough time by my phone (ditto on the home and work front), so I didn't need to be alerted to every email all the time.

Of course, now that I'm out of the home office two days a week, I do need a better way to access my email, other than webmail. I have a lot of concerns about having my personal or other clients' stuff crossing my employer's server, what with all the concerns about lack of privacy and employee monitoring.

So I've done it. I've bought myself a blackberry. Of course, I chose the cute pink one. And yes, it vibrates every time I get an email. But it's also a decent cell phone, and I don't have to worry that I'm missing important stuff during my hour-long commute or when I play hookey from work (like this morning when I spent three hours at my sons' schools talking about Jewish New Year to their classes).

The big question is, though, will I become one of those people who checks her blackberry all the time, like at the dinner party, or at the movies, or during lunch meeting? I hate those people. God, I hope I don't become one!

All my coworkers are Gen Y

2008-09-24T10:34:00.000-07:00

When you work in an office, birthdays are celebrated. In my new office, it seems they usually pass a card for signatures, unless it's a "big" birthday, in which case there is more. This week, the office manager turned 30, so we celebrated with cake and champagne, and a bit of socializing.

There are only about 15 or 20 people (haven't met everyone yet!) who work here, and most of them were in the room for champagne. Talk came around to whose "big" birthday would be next, and eventually it came out how old just about everyone is. Turns out more than half the women are under 30. A few of the women and a few men are in their early to mid 30s. And one woman will turn 40 later this year.

Then there's me.

Granted, there are two senior people who work here who were out of town that day -- my boss, the President, who is in his 50s, and the VP of operations, who is 46. But man, it was a huge shock to find myself in the minority, and to find that I was the oldest person in the room.

That said, it didn't make me feel old, too much. More it was a surprise to be on this side of the dividing line. My previous office jobs in the past decade were government, where there are a LOT of baby boomers, so I was always on the young side of the line before.

I guess the good thing about being on the older people side is that it kind of reinforces the seniority I bring to my job. I want to be seen as a higher up, a senior staffer, so I guess being older helps with that impression.

But man, I need to learn more about Gen Y now.

Unemployment benefits for the self-employed

2008-09-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

My apologies for silence the last ten days. I know both my followers must miss my posts. I do mean to do this more often, but starting the job, settling the kids into regular activities and clearing up other work has left me stressed, then ill (now getting over the cold/flu), and very time crunched. Still no excuse, hence the catch up this week.

Via Darren I read about a campaign promise in the current Canadian election by the ruling Conservative party to implement employment insurance for self-employed people. I guess the main point of it is to provide maternity/parental benefits to those of us not currently eligible because we work for ourselves.

Interesting thought. Yes, it would be great to get some benefits for maternity leave. But the maximum benefit you can get is about $415 a week, which is then taxed. I know for some people that's a significant sum of money over several months, but are those people self-employed? I had a friend go back to work because her benefits were running out, but once she paid for child care, the financial difference between working and not working was less than $500 a month.

I guess I was lucky, because I had the best of both worlds. With my first child, I had worked at a job part time that ended six months before the baby was born, but under the EI rules I qualified for maximum benefits. Which was nice, but frankly working part time I made more than the benefit amount, so I wound up refusing benefits most weeks (you have to report earnings and if you earn more than a certain amount, they don't pay you). The second baby for me I had no benefits, and yes, I started back a bit earlier than with the first, but it didn't make a lot of difference to me.

So are there a lot of self-employed people in their 20s and 30s who would benefit from EI? Am I being elitist to think every self-employed person would turn up their nose at $1200 a month, in return for paying in for at least six months before that?

My first week on the job

2008-09-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

So far, so good.

I've had two days at my new office job and I'm still enjoying it. The people are nice, although I spent most of this week reading and learning about the organization. I like the two senior leaders with whom I'll spend most of my work time. They are frank, straightforward, and don't pull any punches, just like me. They appreciate honesty and are okay with being told what needs changing. I have my own office, with a window and a door and a u-shaped desk. Frankly, I'd kill for that kind of space in my home office. Today, my home office is feeling small and cramped. Well, it is small and cramped, but it never felt that way before.

I think the best part about it is, beyond the half-time aspect, that it's the kind of job I'd want. They look to me to be the expert, to take charge when I'm ready. I don't feel threatening or threatened when I discuss taking on duties or contact with suppliers. It's the senior staff role I knew I was qualified for, but which I thought because I'd been a consultant this long I couldn't achieve.

So while it's only been two days in the office, so far, so good. And I've read 2/3 of my book in just two days of commuting.

First day of work

2008-09-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

Today is my first day of my new "part-time job." It's also my youngest child's first day of kindergarten. We're both a little nervous.

What if we don't like the boss/teacher?
What if the boss/teacher doesn't like us?
We don't know what our office/classroom will really look like. Where will we hang our coats? Where will we leave our purse/backpack?
Where will we eat lunch/snack?
Will we get along with the other staff/kids?
Will they like me?

We both know we can do the work, but it's the other stuff having us nervous.

At least my son has a new lunch bag for his first day. I have to use a plastic shopping bag.

Men in traditional female occupations

2008-09-03T09:04:00.000-07:00

My kids went back to school yesterday, and once the parent party was over, I noticed how very few male teachers there are in my school. I think this is pretty common around North America, especially at elementary schools.

Is this a function of our paranoid society, where every man is seen as a possible abuser and women are seen as more nurturing? Is that why men teach at high school but not so much at elementary?

The sad part is I believe boys need male role models at the younger grades. I haven't done any scientific research, but is it possible boys feel a little alienated in the classroom because girls can identify with the teacher better?

Luckily for my kids, we have had some male teachers. Not in the classroom, but at daycare and after-school care. Even at the toddler stage, my boys had at least one male teacher -- very rare for ECE (early childhood education). They had two male teachers in the 3-5 year old group at daycare. And there was a male teacher at my older son's aftercare his first year (an aboriginal, disabled male to boot!), who was an amazing guy and super role model.

And today, I learned that my younger son's kindercare teacher (in my province, kindergarten is only 2 1/2 hours a day. The rest of the school day I pay for kindercare, then aftercare. It's all run at our school by the YMCA, and it's a great program, but it costs me.), with whom he'll spend more time than his female kindergarten teacher, is a man. And a Gen Y, manly looking guy to boot. I'm pretty pleased.

So why aren't men teaching young kids?

Chocolate indulgence

2008-08-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

A while back a commenter on this blog asked if I wanted to be part of a word-of-mouth campaign for Dove chocolates. Basically, he was offering me free chocolates in return for me talking about them, so how could I resist. It took a while, but at the beginning of the summer they sent me "Dove Pleasure Kit".

It was quite a package they sent. I got a lovely shopping bag filled with goodies. There were four huge chocolate bars, dozens of 'purse packs' -- four bite-size chocolates in each, four packages of sharing chocolates, with about 15 bite-sized chocolates in each, along with a blank journal, a wine glass and a mini-pedicure kit. I assume it's all to reinforce the idea that Dove chocolate should be a woman's indulgence.

It's not a bad word-of-mouth campaign, because I've seen a bunch of other bloggers, all women in Toronto or Vancouver, blog about the chocolates. And I've mentioned them myself in my Facebook feed and my e-newsletter. It's been tough, though, having all this chocolate around my house and trying not to pig out on it. I've shared some with friends, but now I think I should pass more out so I don't have this much chocolate all to myself.

I like the taste of them, although I'm not a huge dark chocolate fan, but I like their milk chocolate and just adore their "dusk" flavour, a mix of milk and dark. And I like the wrappings on each chocolate, because they have really cute suggestions for indulging. Well, some are cute or inspiring, like "Stand up for yourself", "Order dessert first", or "Have a candlelight dinner." But some are kind of goofy, like “A push up bra isn’t cheating,” or ”Remember your first.”But it's fun, like little fortune cookies! Apparently, you can even order Dove chocolates with your own sayings printed inside. I bet these would be great wedding favours.

Anyhow, I recommend trying them, if not for the taste then at least for the amusement factor. And now I've spread the word good and proper, so hopefully someone else will think me influential enough to send me more free stuff!

Invading my space

2008-08-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

It's the last week of summer holidays, although judging by all the rain today it's hard to tell what season we're in. Next week the kids go back to school full time and hopefully my husband will get back to his regular working hours (although having had most of the month off with someone else covering all his work, I worry he won't go back or will try to go back for just some of it. This worries me in part because we do need his income, and he has no plan to do anything else. Also because when he's not at work, he's at home, in my space.), and it can't come fast enough for me.

I know I'm about to start a part time job, with two days at an office outside of home, but the other days I want my house back. All summer I've wanted my house back. This isn't just a housewife complaining that her family is underfoot, although that's part of it. But this is my workplace, and I'm sick of my family taking it away from me.

I don't have a real office in our house. I have a nook, kinda carved out with a bookcase for a bit of privacy, but basically my workspace is in the playroom. So everyone is always in here when they're home. When I'm home alone, it's a lovely spot to work. It's central so I don't feel jammed into the basement, I have a huge window right at my desk so I can watch the birds on the backyard feeders. And it's bright and cheery.

But when someone else is home, I feel invaded, no matter how quiet they are. And this summer, between half-day camps, days off and my husband being home this whole month, I have felt very invaded. It's not just that I can't concentrate on work. If that were the only issue I'd unplug my laptop, grab my cordless phone and go to my bedroom where I can shut the door and have some quiet. Thank goodness for wireless internet.

But it's more than that. I see the whole house as my office, not just my workspace, so when someone else is here, it's a loss of privacy. I know they're my family and they live here too, but I just feel, well, invaded. I can't wait until we settle back down into a regular routine next week.

Yeah, back to school!!!

Jurassic Park and other kiddie films

2008-08-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

My sons are still pretty young, but my older one is entering the second grade and while I don't like to expose him to too many violent movies, his buddies all seem to be seeing films like Indiana Jones, Star Wars and other stuff that I think is too violent. Am I a big prude because I want to keep the gory and war-ry stuff away from my little guys?

This issue comes up for us now because of Jurassic Park, the 1993 classic (can it be a classic when it's only 15 years old?). We just got back from a great family holiday where we drove to Dinosaur Provincial Park. The boys are now all over anything dinosaur related, so I thought I'd go rent them the film that brought Dinosaurs to life for me, Jurassic Park. But it's rated PG, and I remember being pretty scared of some of the chase and eating scenes, and I was 25 when it came out. So do I let my kids see it?

On the one hand, I want to be the overprotective mom and shield them from this kind of thing. On the other hand, movies like this and ET and Star Wars are a big part of pop culture, and I don't want my kids to be left out if everyone else they hang out with has been exposed to those kinds of things. Imagine being the only kid in the 80s who didn't get the joke when someone said "No Coke, Pepsi!"

If these kinds of pop images form a generation and inform our modern culture, where do you draw the line between keeping your kid up to date and being overprotective?

Old-fashioned driving vacation

2008-08-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, my family took a lot of car trips. We lived in the middle of the country on the prairies, so driving anywhere meant long periods in the car. I don't remember the car parts as much as I remember where we went to, but I also don't remember the car parts as being tortuous.

Well, now I'm the parent and my family is setting off tomorrow for an eight day trip, with basically four full days of driving involved. I am anti-DVD in the car, but I have loaded up the ipods with lots of audio books, have car games ready, surprise snacks, yadda yadda. As the parent, at least at this point in the holiday, all I can focus on is the car part.

But I think the kids will really love our destination -- Dinosaur Provincial Park. And yes, we'll camp there, but we've got hotels planned for the first two days of driving and a two-day stop at a friend's house on the way back. I'm sure it will be fine. Just like when I was a kid.

I hope.

Old enough to see it come back into style

2008-08-11T15:16:00.000-07:00

Now that I've got a new job on the horizon, I need to start shopping. I don't have an "office" wardrobe, but then again I don't have much of a budget for clothes shopping. And besides, I'm not a standard size 6, so I rarely find much I like. Frankly, most of the time I see clothes better made for the runway or the high school hallway than I do for a woman of my age or figure.

Anyhow, today I was walking past a consignment boutique that had a great sale on, so I stopped in to see if there was anything I like in my size. I love consignment stores. Everything is affordable, usually in good quality (above the Value Village stuff for sure!), and it's not all this season's stuff, which is good for someone who doesn't like this season's fashions very much at all.

Anyhow, as I perused the racks today, I couldn't believe some of the clothes. There were velour tops, and Flashdance style skirts. There were a lot of things I recognized from my teenage years. I can't believe that stuff is back in fashion.

I'm reminded of my mother talking about sixties fashions coming back into style in the late 80s, when tie dye and mini skirts got chic again, and I remember rolling my eyes about how my mother just didn't understand fashion. She never wanted to discard clothes, because she said they'd come back into style. And she was right, sort of.

But now I'm the mother, and I'm seeing it coming back around to me now. Now I know I'm middle aged.

I said yes

2008-08-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

I called the association that offered me the part time job and yesterday I accepted their offer. We agreed that I would start the second week of September (once my littlest guy starts kindergarten), and that we'd work out the details between now and then.

I'm pretty excited about the possibilities, but now have to start making lists of things I need to do before I jump in. First, I need to sort out a new cell phone. Mine is very old, at least three years, and doesn't get email. I will definitely need email, especially for the 45 minute commute in each direction. And I don't want to use webmail at the office, because I've heard a lot of horror stories about companies having the right to read all my email if I access it over their servers, even if it's an outside account. And I need to decide which two days I'll give up to office life. And I need new clothes. I don't have the wardrobe for a job, even at two days a week. Do you think I can wear jeans at least once a week?

This is a big step, but hopefully it's the right one, and a right one in the right direction to offering me more of the security I'm missing as a freelancer, without giving up the freedom and the opportunities I love as a freelancer.

When I called the VP to say I'd take the offer, he was very, very happy, and made me feel welcomed right away. And the office manager emailed the same day too to start talking about what I'll need for office space, admin help, etc. Those things really helped make me feel I'd made the right choice.

The other clincher was my kids. My older son, the seven year old, spent last night at a sleepover, something he only recently felt old enough to do. And my younger guy, now out of daycare as of last week, spent his first day at camp, at the same program that runs after-school care at his soon-to-be school, and when I picked him up, he seemed older, more mature. I took both those facts as signs my kids are moving on, and this is therefore the right time for this kind of change.

I guess 40 really is a watershed year for me, and my whole family.

The downside of taking this job

2008-08-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

I have a few more days to consider this job offer, and while there are a lot of pluses, there are also negatives, and I'd like to consider them.

Devoting half my work week, plus commuting time, to the job, might be pretty consuming. I'm sure I'll still be able to do other work, but will I still have time to look for other work? Will I be able to network, go for coffees, go to events? Those are usually pretty useful in the long run to get me more business, and if I'm not doing them, will my incoming work dry up? It would be pretty easy to let a half time job fill my whole week, what with the whole home and family thing on top of it.

And what about the whole home and family thing? Will I have to shop for groceries on Saturday afternoon with all the other working moms? Will I have to do laundry in the evenings? Will I be exhausted every night racing home on the bus to make dinner? Will I have any time left to exercise?

I know it sounds like I'm being lazy, giving up my days at home and having to enter the work world, and it does seem a lot like that. Hopefully with only two days a week in their offices, I'll be able to overcome it.

My other worries are about reentering the office life. It's been about three years since I worked in an office. All the politics, the other people. It's easy to be businesslike and nice when you only have the odd meeting, but when it's all day, that's a lot tougher. And it's hard to go back and forth from the home office to the office office. And then there's the wardrobe. I don't have the clothes for it, even two days a week. And I hate shopping.

And then there's the commute. Their office is clear across town, which I'm pretty sure is two transfers from home, for about 45 minutes each way. I could possibly bike, but I know when it's cold and raining, I don't think so.

On the bright side, I'd need to access my emails on the go, so it's an excuse to buy a new cell phone.

If this is the answer to my worries, why am I still worried?

A job offer -- part time

2008-07-30T21:10:00.000-07:00

Back in April I wrote about having lunch with a couple senior women in my field who suggested I try to find a part time job. They said it was a good way to gain the stability I'm seeking without giving up my freelance freedoms altogether. They also both thought I should find an employer who had been looking for someone less experienced than me, but full time, and convince them to hire me part time for the same money.

The day after my second of those lunches, the woman I'd met ran into someone in exactly that position. His association had been trying to hire someone full time, because consultants weren't working for them -- they wanted someone in house. But after looking they were having trouble finding anyone with enough experience and hadn't hired. She recommended me.

I heard from this association the next day, asking if I was interested. I told the guy I might be, but then didn't hear again. Then last month, I got an email from his colleague asking again was I interested. I said I was. We arranged a phone call to explore how it might work and whether there was a fit. Then a couple weeks went by with no word. Then last week they asked to meet me to discuss it more.

Now, at this point my freelancing is going pretty well. Turns out I had a pretty good year financially after all, and with the new informal partnership going well, I'm feeling a bit more secure about the near future. But this option still intrigues me.

And today they made me an offer. The money is not bad, certainly better than half of a full time job. Their offices are not terribly close, and it would be a 45 minute commute on the bus or bike each way, but they're only asking me to do two days a week in their office, with some additional time at home for them. Their area of business, while not sexy or exciting, interests me and touches on a lot of hot political topics that I like. I'd still be able to take freelance work, I'd just need to look for less of it. And they're telling me they'll be plenty flexible about it all.

So did I find my magic bullet, a way to survive the next 25 years of work? Keep the stability in part time work, keep the freelance in the rest?

I don't know. I've got a lot to consider here. I'll post more later this week while I hash out more details in my head. Opinions?

I am a triathlete!

2008-07-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

I did it. Yesterday, I completed a triathlon. At 40. I am a 40-year-old triathlete. I just keep repeating this to tell myself it's real.

Yes, I'm proud of myself and maybe a bit too much, but heck, I did it.

And it was hard. First of all, it rained. First rain this town has seen in nearly five weeks, and just for a few hours, but the hours I was racing. I had to be there at 6 am, which meant I took our family's only car up there, so my hubby and the kids couldn't come watch.

I had to lay out all my stuff in the rain. Good thing I brought a garbage bag. But it was cold, and I had to stand around for two hours after they closed the transition area (where the bikes and clothes go) until my swim start time (those who would be quickest started first). But then, at last, I put on my bathing cap, was marked all over with my race number, and they told me to get into the pool.

My swim went very well. I felt strong and consistent, and even passed a few people, but didn't really have problems with people passing because the lanes were pretty wide. I did my last lap and got out of the pool and walked quickly out of the pool toward the transition area, and then I saw them. My husband and the boys were at the pool exit cheering me on. I nearly cried I was so happy to see them.

I raced to my bike and began doing my clothing change, which went fine and no one saw me slip off my bathing suit under my towel. And I was pretty quick. Onto my bike and off I went, out of transition, up the hill onto the biking route. It was four laps on the blocked-off road. The way there was pretty much uphill the entire way, and the first lap I was going pretty slowly, because I was darn tired. But the way back was easier and more downhill, which gave me more strength for the next uphill. By the end of the second lap I felt faster and stronger and I think that's the point when I knew I'd finish this thing. Then it started to pour. Up until then the rain had either stopped or trickled to nothing. But during my third and most of my fourth lap, it poured. Yet I soldiered on, until I got to the end of my fourth lap and headed back down the hill to the transition area again.

I parked my bike and helmet, grabbed my hat and long sleeve shirt (I was soaked and cold by then) and headed back uphill for the run. Well, I didn't quite run yet. My legs were very, very sore. And while I'd practiced this, and knew it would be tough to get running (it was the same road, still uphill, just over to the side of the bikes), I didn't know it would be so tough. But my kids were cheering so I ran past them and tried to keep running. But I couldn't. My breathing was okay and my energy was okay but my legs hurt. So I walked. I kept trying to run uphill, and managed a minute here and there, but for more than 10 minutes into the running part, I couldn't make my legs work. Then finally they did. So I ran. And I ran as well as I could. I tried to go faster, especially at the end, but as much as I could soldier on and keep running, I just couldn't make my legs go any faster. But the finish line was in sight, and I pushed on, until I came around the last corner, heard my kids call out and I crossed the finish line to hugs from my sons.

And now, I am a triathlete. I didn't break any records. I finished 133th of 146 women, but I wasn't last, which was my goal. And I finished in under two hours, which I was really hoping to do -- 1:54:16. It's not earth shattering, but it's not embarrassing either. And my favourite number is 18:26. That's my swim time, including the time it took me to get out of the pool, walk the length of it out the other end to the exit and across the timing mat. And that time is a good minute or two less than I had ever done in training.

But I'm pretty sure that was my one and only tri. I would swim again, and bike again, and swim and bike again, but the run was too hard for me, and frankly, I just don't enjoy running enough to do that all again. I'll probably keep up a weekly run with my clinic group, but to do the three again, I don't think so.

There, cross that one off my list. I'm 40 and I completed a triathlon.

Now what will I do for 50?

Triathlon worries

2008-07-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

Only four days to go now until my triathlon, and the real fear is setting in now.

Up until this week, I had been worried about the big things -- could I get trained enough, would I be able to do this, how hilly is the course, etc. But now it's the details that scare me.

I learned this week that I have to wear a bathing cap during the swim. I have never worn one ever before. I bought a cheap one so I could try it on and practice, although since the race is this weekend, I really only have one swim scheduled during which I can practice. So I've tried it in the shower, and I hate it. It feels really tight, hurts my hair, and it feels really, really weird not to feel water in my hair. Hopefully the one they give me, with my number marked on it, is better than this cheapie one.

I also learned that I'll have a timing chip velcroed to my ankle. Another weird feeling I'm not used to. I'm sure neither one of these things is a big deal in the long run, but the swim was supposed to be my comfort zone -- it's the easiest of the three for me, and now I feel these things will make me feel ill-at-ease in the water.

The other big worry is the weather. Up until today, I had seen weather reports for Sunday saying it would be really, really hot. But today the reports say the really hot weather is actually three or four days back, so Sunday now has a 30-60 % chance of rain, with highs only just at 19-20 degrees. It's hardly cold, and I know I can bike and run in the rain, and have done before, but I planned my wardrobe based on hot weather, so now I'm having second thoughts.

Another concern is that the transition area, where I put my bike and clothes etc -- oh, it's outside. I have to plan to have my clothes in a waterproof bag now if it'll be raining -- closes at 7 am, so from that time until my swim start time, which is likely to be about 8:30ish, I have to stand around in my bathing suit. Worries of discomfort and cold come back to me now here again too.

I think if this weren't the first triathlon I'd ever been in, or even if I'd been smart and gone to watch one before this, I might be calmer about these details, but well, it is my first, so the little things are troubling.

On a brighter note, I am less scared about my ability to do this. I know I won't be fast, but I also know I can do this in less than 2 1/2 hours, maybe even less than 2, although not likely. I might be tired biking, and may even go really slowly up the hills, but I can do it. I've trained on my bike a lot, and hills around town that used to frighten me, that used to get me off the bike and walking up them, I can do now. And the run, the worst of the three sports for me, well, worse comes to worse and I walk parts of it because I'm tired. I keep going back to a 5K run I did in early June, where I was exhausted after a 2 hour bike ride the day before, my legs were killing, and when I did the 5K I felt like I walked more than I ran, but I finished that in 35 minutes. So if I could do it then, I can do it in the tri.

Four days to go, if I can survive the little things. Wish me luck!

How much do you make?

2008-07-18T07:53:00.000-07:00

A couple workplace-related blogs I follow have had posts this week about salary secrecy -- the compulsion to hide your annual salary from everyone. I have always thought a reluctance to discuss money was a downfall of our society. What's the big secret?

Take housing prices as a comparison. MLS listings are public, as are annual assessment records, so I can easily look up how much anyone's house costs. That's a bigger indicator of wealth than salary, at least in my hometown. And if you know what someone does for a living, you can guess what what kind of money they might make in many cases. So what's the big deal?

I know, poverty is seen as degrading, and being overly wealthy is seen as elitist. But when you work in a company where you know how high up the corporate ladder you rank, why is it a big deal to know how much more or less the next gal earns?

I began my career working for the federal government, a unionized ehttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifnvironment where every job has a classification, and every classification has a salary range. So I knew how much every single person in my workplace earned. Then I moved to the private sector, where I wasn't allowed to share my salary with anyone, and no one shared with me. And I just didn't get it. It always seemed like a silly game to me -- hide your income from your cubicle neighbours.

As a freelancer, I have been open about my rates, and find that others are just as open. Asking around helped me set the right number for myself. I used to charge too little, until I started asking around, and then brought up my rates when I found others at the same level were charging more. In fact, I learned last month that I'm charging far too little for media training sessions, because I asked a couple other freelancers, so the next one I do will cost the client a more market-reasonable rate.

I'm not saying I run around telling everyone I meet what my annual income is, but I'm also not hiding it. If someone asked me directly how much I earned last year, I'd tell them. Although with all the deductions, and the whole incorporated business thing, I'm not sure I have a direct answer. I know how much the corporation made, and I know what I reported as net income on my taxes, but it's never as simple for someone like me to say how much we earn as for a salaried employee. But I've certainly got nothing to hide.

Picking up trash earns trip to space?

2008-07-16T09:43:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid in the 70s, we all thought that by the time we were grownups, we'd be jetting off to the moon for holidays. Ah, the George Jetson inspired dreams of the future.

Well, eight years into this new millennium, I'm not going to space any time soon, although my seven year old is at a science camp this week and who knows, it might spark the bug that leads him to the space program. Anyhow, I was intrigued by this news item I just saw, Air hostess picks up chocolate bar, wins space trip.

Not that it really has anything to do with my musings on being 40 and work life, but this Charlie-and-the-Chocolate-Factory dream come true for this woman is pretty cool.

Me and J-Lo

2008-07-15T11:24:00.000-07:00

I read in the news today that Jennifer Lopez is training for a triathlon, just like me.

With only 12 days to go, it's nice to be in good company.

I'm trying to taper my training this week, but having to bike my kid to camp every morning, since our car died and we haven't decided yet what to do to replace it, is messing with that. Still, I'm feeling more ready as the days go by, but scared too.

I guess it gets to a point where you're either trained or you're not, and no more training can make the difference. 12 days and counting!

Wasting time at work, Free Slurpee Day

2008-07-09T09:59:00.000-07:00

I am doing some promotion for a client that wants to give away money, and in addition to promoting them via media relations, I did some social media promotion too. I messaged everyone relevant on my Facebook and LinkedIn contact lists, and got some bloggers to post it. Before I tell the rest of my tale, the "it," which by the way is pretty Vancouver-area-specific, is:

I'm helping Metropolis at Metrotown give away money. They have a community fund which has raised $200,000 in the past couple years -- the money is from their Metropolis Express, the little ride-on train that runs around the main floor of the mall, and they've given grants to 20 non-profits in Burnaby. But the fund has grown big enough that they want to expand the region to which they'll give grants.

To that end, I'm trying to spread the word to non-profits in New Westminster or East Vancouver that they can apply for money from the community fund. All the rules and application forms are available here.

Anyhow, one of my contacts on LinkedIn wrote that she had forwarded my message to a contact at a relevant charity, but that my message sent her to LinkedIn where she updated her profile, looked around a bit, and other time wasters. And then she asked, probably jokingly, if I had any more stuff she could do to avoid working.

We all spend time reading blogs, newspapers, surfing, etc., which feels like work, but is really not getting any client-related stuff accomplished. So I have another one for my buddy and everyone else, but one that necessitates leaving your desk on Friday.

This Friday in Canada (and I think the US too) is Free Slurpee Day. If you don't know what a Slurpee is, imagine all the ice and sugar you can drink -– although I think the free ones are small. Oh, and Friday is also the day that the iPhone comes to town, but with the yucky pricing plans, I'm more excited about the Slurpees.

Professional curiosity

2008-07-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

There's a PR agency in my town, one I know of but have never really been close to, and something is happening at their business. What, exactly, I don't know, but boy am I curious!

Last week, a job ad came around from my professional association. A new agency was looking for staff, and it was named after one of the principals in the PR agency I mentioned above. Not only that, but the new agency seemed to have many of the same big-name clients as the previous agency. Really, it seems like maybe this principal left her old agency and started out on her own, taking all her clients with her.

This is pretty juicy stuff, and I'm very, very curious about what happened. Not that it affects me directly. I don't really compete with them for clients, and I am not really impacted if she left or whatever. But I want to know.

I emailed a few freelance colleagues to see if they knew what was up, but no one knew anything. So this morning I decided to take my curiosity a step further, and I emailed the one person I do know somewhat well at the previous agency and asked him for the dirt.

Did I go too far? In elementary school, I remember being really embarrassed when my teacher read a story to the class called "Curious Carla." Did I just make the story come true and embarrass myself just by asking for the gossip?

Work-life balance on summer holidays

2008-07-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

When I had babies, everyone talked about child care, daycare, babysitters, etc. But no one ever warned me about summer vacation. I always thought that once my kid started school, my child care woes would ease. Ha! Summers are the hardest time to work around, because there is no continuity.

OK, I could stick my kid in a daycare/regular daycamp situation where he goes to the same place every day, but what fun is that for a child who is supposed to be enjoying time off from a regular schedule? No, like most moms in my hoity-toity neighborhood (where being a working mom is very far from the norm!), my kid gets to go to camps. Day camps. So each week is a new adventure. This week is baseball camp, then soccer camp, then engineering camp (I know it's geeky but he likes science and building stuff!), then two weeks of outdoors camp. Each camp starts and ends at a different time, and in a different location. It's quite the juggling act to get him to the right places. And some camps are only half days, so then I have to deal with playdates, or having him in the house while I try to work. It's a hassle.

That all said, his summer holidays usually work out to a http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.giftime of slower work for me, so I can usually manage the juggle. Because I'm a freelancer and make my own schedule. If ever I did take a full time job, this could never happen. But for now, it's actually kind of nice. I start working a bit later and finish a bit earlier to accommodate camp times. I use my cell phone more in the summers since I spend more time away from my desk. But I still haven't broken down and gotten a blackberry.

Penelope Trunk has written today about how having a blackberry gives her more work-life balance, since she can multi-task, even at her son's soccer games.

Without a Blackberry, you always had to choose one or the other. Work and life were always competing for large chunks of time in the day. But with the Blackberry, you can have a blended life where work life and personal life complement each other. What I mean is that the Blackberry makes it so you can always do work but also always do your personal life, so you choose which one has priority, minute to minute.

Yeah, right. To hear her tell it, by constantly checking her email she has more time with her personal life. I don't think so, at least not for me. When I tune out work, I am focused on my family and much more relaxed. I did nary a stitch of work while on my five-day break last week, and I felt much more relaxed than usual when I would have taken work with me.

Summer should be easier, even for a freelancer. Viva la day camp, viva la summer!

The death of personal blogging -- more than just an excuse for my lack of posts!

2008-06-30T13:16:00.000-07:00

I know it's been more than a week since I posted anything. Truth be told I don't have that many people reading this, so I doubt anyone noticed, but once you start something, you feel obliged to keep it up. It's like my inner monologue and I feel guilty when I neglect it.

My excuses are the usual -- I was ill for more than a week, my kid's schedule was overwhelming as he finished school for the year, then started summer camps, and plus my family took five days away as a short holiday. But hey, none of them prevented me from blogging, so much as prevented me from thinking about blogging.

Which is why this article in the Tyee was so interesting. It's called the Death of Pleasure Blogging, and the author argues that blogging for the heck of it is so five minutes ago. Business and media blogging is growing, but pleasure blogging is becoming too much work. Microblogging --- updating your status in Facebook or Twitter or the like -- is easier.

The move from big blogs to smaller ones says a lot about our cultural attention span. One or two lines of text are about as much writing as we can handle -- either creating or consuming it. Which begs the question, why did I write a bloated 750-word blog exposé? I could have just Twittered it in a line or two.

I've yet to embrace Twitter, but I admit to updating my Facebook status more regularly than I do this blog. But in my defense, I use Facebook for my side business. So it's not really personal blogging, is it? ;-)

Gen Xers rule summer movies

2008-06-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

Via the Globe and Mail's movies columnist Johanna Scheller I read about how mid-lifers like myself are dominating the movies this summer.

Think of all the 40-somethings in Sex and the City, Robert Downey Jr (46) in Ironman, Ed Norton (38) in the Hulk, or Adam Sandler (42) in that Zohan flop. There must be the usual summer teen flicks, but if they're out there, I haven't heard of them yet.

Schneller calls it "the summer of 42- age 42, that is. Or 43, or 53." And I agree, I see many men and women on screen now who are actually my age. But Schneller, who I assume from her photo is a Boomer, naturally credits all this to her generation, not mine.

It must be acknowledged that this spurt of midlife movies could be simply the last roar of that terrible beast, the baby-boomer ego - the cinematic equivalent of a perimenopausal woman firing off her extra eggs before her womb goes dark. Never before has a generation held so fiercely to the belief that it's the only one that matters; some of summer's films make hay with that belief.

And yes, that does make sense, but isn't ironic that most of the film stars she cites are in their late 30s/early 40s, and therefore not of the baby boomer variety but rather the Gen X era. Isn't it fun that now that boomers are looking for their youth, but not wanting to look too far (like into the eyes of a 20-something), they look to our generation. No doubt all those 60-somethings sitting in dark movie theatres are living vicariously through the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker -- a Gen Xer if ever there was one (come on, remember Square Pegs!)

After all those years of us seeing mostly them in our pop culture, they are finally looking at us. Maybe it is the summer of 40 -- sure makes it easier for me to have joined the fourth decade!

Generational quiz -- what is your media use?

2008-06-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

I was reading some older columns from one of my favourite bloggers, Penelope Trunk, and came across this terrific quiz she posted.

She hypothesizes that what really labels us into a generation is not so much the year of our birth but rather our experience with digital media. I took her quiz and came out square in the middle of Gen X, so I think she may have a real point.

Go ahead and try it. Did it work for you?

Goofing off is good for your workday

2008-06-12T08:11:00.000-07:00

According to this brief article in the Globe and Mail, letting workers take time to answer personal emails, check Facebook and surf the web is good for productivity and morale.

If bosses actively encouraged employees to take one 10 minute e-break in the working day, their overall productivity levels would increase.

One 10 minute break? Oh yeah, cuz we'd only ever check our personal stuff once a day, right?!

Global warming is messing up my training

2008-06-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

It's been a pretty cold and rainy spring here in Vancouver. We had about five days of heat and sunshine on the May long weekend, then back to cold and rain. I actually wore my fall boots and raincoat yesterday. So imagine how hard it's been to get me motivated and outside for triathlon training?!

I don't like biking in the rain. I freely admit that I am a bit of a whoos when it comes to that. I love to bike in the sunshine, when it's pretty hot and the speed of the bike creates a lovely wind to cool me off. But getting wet while biking is just miserable. It's bad enough that in this city to commute anywhere on my bike involves plenty of uphill slogging, but to do that in the rain? No thank you.

OK, I gave in on the weekend and did a training run in the rain. And last night I went out to running clinic even though it had been pouring all day. But the running wasn't a hardship. Somehow, it miraculously stopped raining for the one hour of my clinic. The man who runs the store we run from, he has some kind of magic going on, because it never rains from 6-7 pm on a Monday when clinic is on. I am now a true believer, because the rain stopped at 5:45 and started again as I was heading home.

Now I have this fear that the day of my actual triathlon race (July 27, btw) it will pour. Stupid global warming!

How's businesss?

2008-06-09T10:19:00.000-07:00

Whenever I see friends or acquaintances at social occasions, I'm usually asked "How's business?", and I never quite know how to answer.

On the one hand, the question is kind of like "How are you?", a question we ask each other every day without really caring about the answer, so the correct response is "fine," whether you are or not. So in this case, the answer to "How's business?" is "great" or "fine." But is that the right thing to do?

When I was in my 20s and working freelance or on contract, I always said business was great, because you don't want anyone to think you're not doing well. At that age, one does not ever admit shortcomings. Life is perfect, just like in the magazines and in movies, and if you're unhappy/alone/out of work/etc., you'd never admit it.

In my 30s, as I got more experienced and more mature, I began to tell people that things were less than perfect. Some admissions are easy -- Raising babies is hard and I'm tired, I can't afford the home I want, I'm out of shape -- these are common social complaints that actually can bond you with others in the same situation. You have a reason for parts of your life not being perfect -- you're 30-something with kids.

But with business, it still took a while for me to admit when business wasn't great, but lately I've started to come up with better answers. Like "I'm having a slow quarter", or "I could be busier", or "I'm looking for some new projects now." I find this way the people I network with, whether business or personal, will know that I'm open to new challenges. Still, it is admitting a failing on my part, and it takes a certain ego to do that, something I only have on odd days of the week.

It can also come off as whining, I guess. I'll have to think about this one some more. How's your business going?

How old do you think I am?

2008-06-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

After a killer work week, my hubby and I were thrilled to get a sitter Friday night to go to an actual party -- not just a gathering of parents and kids, but all grownups, music, drinking, and staying out late.

It was a fabulous night out, and I think we earned some respect from our 13-year-old sitter when we stayed out past 11. I think she thinks we're old fuddy duddies because we are almost always home before 10. Well, she's right, but Friday night we actually had to pry ourselves away from the party to get back at a decent hour for a 13-year-old.

At the party, I got chatting with a lovely young couple -- two beautiful 20-something boys who were lots of fun. At one point I made a comment about something from the 70s, when they both said they weren't alive back then. So I laughed and said, oh, I guess I just dated myself. And they said, no way were you alive back then. So for fun, I said, "OK, then tell me how old do you think I am?" They both together said "30." Me, 30?!

Now that's a lovely compliment, and when I told them my real age both refused to believe me, which was a bigger compliment.

But my favourite part came the next day when I realized that neither of them got the joke when I said "How old do you think I am?" Because that is a line from a commercial that predates them. I'm sure everyone my age remembers the old Oil of Olay commercial that asks "How old do you think I am?" (sorry, tried but failed to find a clip on youtube to link to that). But I'm pretty sure that was an early 80s ad, so these 25-year-olds wouldn't know I was trying to drop a pop culture reference.

Another example of the generation gap, but this one wrapped up in a huge compliment for me.

Why am I driving on bike to work week?

2008-05-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about not having a downtown, 9-to-5 job, has to be the lack of a commute. In my city, everyone pours from the burbs to the city centre every morning, and rush hour runs straight through from 7 am to 7 pm every single workday. Ah, but in my workplace, rush hour ends when the boys leave for school, and the only obstacle on my commute from the kettle in the kitchen to my desk at the other end of the house is tripping over laundry or the cat.
http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
My poor husband, drives downtown to work most days, and complains daily about the traffic. And don't I feel smug most days.

Ah, but not this week. This week I am still working on a very big project in another municipality in my region, one that requires me to go over a bridge for ever meeting. Transit on their side of the water isn't very good, and many meetings have been early morning or evenings, so I've had to drive. A lot. Today I left home at 8:30 am for a 9:30 am meeting, and just got in now at noon (ok). I'm spending more time in my vehicle this week than I usually spend in months. And this week just happens to be Bike to Work Week.

You know that I'm training for a triathlon, so biking to work would be ideal for me. And you know I've tried to squeeze in workouts whenever I can. But biking to these meetings would require a good 90 minutes each way, and did I mention that once over the bridge it's all uphill? Anyhow, it's just not doable for me. So I have been unable to bike to work at all this week. Shame on me.

At least my family is evening out the carbon emissions, because my husband has biked to his work all week.

Oh, the stress, or Why can't I turn off my brain

2008-05-29T11:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was one of those freelancer days when I wish I had a normal nine-to-five job. My day began with a 45 minute drive at 7:30 am, a morning chock full of meetings, back to the home office at lunch, work for five hours straight, stop for dinner, rush kid to coach his t-ball game for an hour (at which said kid did not show best sportsmanship!), then back into car for another 45 minute drive to another meeting. All told, I basically worked from 7:30 am to 10 pm.

Then I was finally home, but my brain couldn't figure out that it was time to chill out and stop thinking. And therefore I couldn't sleep. I was up until well past 1:30 am, which I never, ever do, then up again at 5 unable to sleep again. I kept thinking about work stuff, about kid stuff, about things I need to do around the house. I just couldn't shut my brain off after using it so much the whole day.

So today I am sleep-deprived and in a pissy mood, and not getting a lot of worthwhile work done.

Remind me again why I like freelancing?

Some blogs I like

2008-05-22T13:52:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy with work this past week that I haven't blogged. In case anyone is still checking to see if I write anything, I thought I'd better get something up here quick. I don't know how other bloggers do it. I'm overwhelmed right now just keeping up with work comitments, trying to remember what my kids look like, and catch up with my husband in the hour of the evening between getting home from a work thing and passing out in bed from exhaustion! I guess I'll just have to fine time on the weekend for blog entries.

In the meantime, I thought I'd quickly write this and share a few blogs I've found in recent months that I really enjoy. All three of these ladies blog about career and generational stuff:

Shifting Careers: Marci Alboher writes a regular column in the dead tree edition of the New York Times, and has this super blog where she goes into detail about topics that interest her, mainly about career stuff, changing careers, and what she calls "slash" careers -- where you have more than one profession, like lawyer/writer/pastry chef.

Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist: Penelope is one of my all-time favourite bloggers. She puts her heart, sole, and toenails into her columns -- and they are columns, not just short blog entries. She's witty, funny, crass, insightful, and very entertaining. She has a huge following, which is a good thing because she seems to tick off her readers a lot, a sign of contraversy and wit! And not that I'm on Twitter, but she's posted her tweets on her blog and they are the best, funniest use of Twitter I've ever seen.

Generation Xpert Suzanne Kart belongs to Generation X, and she has a lot of smart, practical and funny insight into the generation gaps.

Enjoy!

Carla

Is instability stable for my business?

2008-05-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

I was bemoaning the up and down nature of my freelance business yesterday, when my husband said something interesting. He said, "The instability is your stability." Let's think about that.

It's true that every freelance business has busy times and not so busy times. Well, it has been certainly true for me over the last decade. I can't really plan what my workload will be very far in advance, because just when I think I know what's on my plate, something gets canceled, or moved ahead or pushed back, or something else drops in my lap that I couldn't turn down. I think it's part of my charm, and part of my success, that I take on last minute work whenever possible. But it's also to my detriment that every slow period gets me very bummed out.

Yet if I look back on my total billings for the past five years (this is my judgment period, because in the years before that I worked less cuz I was having babies), they've been pretty steady year over year, and in a good way. Even this year, when things were scary slow for, I thought, two or three months, I'm on track to do as well as I did last year. And even my month-over-month billings haven't varied too much this year.

So is my husband right? The one constant in my work life is that it's inconsistent, that I go through peaks and valleys, that these ups and downs make me alternatively depressed or stressed? I guess so. Now the big question, is that a stability I can live with?

Hmmmm. Gotta think about that one. Although I guess in truth, that's what this blog is all about, thinking about whether I can stand another 25 years of instability as the basis of my work life, in return for the freedom freelancing allows. I don't know the answer today, but I'm still young, I'll keep trying to figure it out.

Happy long weekend!

Boring meeting game

2008-05-13T09:58:00.000-07:00

Via FreelanceSwitch, I found a great game to play in boring meetings. Since I've just taken on a new project that involves a lot of meetings, I've decided to learn the rules but adapt them (tongue in cheek) to my meeting experience:

Game: Phrases that should have stayed behind in the 80s.

Stuck in a meeting for hours? Finding staying awake and alert a problem?
Keep alert by playing: ‘spot the meeting cliché’

How to score:

Score two points for a meeting attendee for each phrase uttered from the list below, double points if two phrases are used in the same sentence.

• On the same page
• Take offline
• Think outside the box
• Talk me through it
• Blue sky
• Best practice
• Singing from the same songsheet
• Paradigm
• Moving the goalposts
• At the end of the day
• Comfort zone
• Win-win situation
• Rock the boat
• Core competency
• Action item
• Touch base
• Synergy

Two extra points allocated for any or all of the following: Ponytails on men, crumpled linen jackets, bow ties, PowerPoint presentations including graphs, flip charts, socks in colours other than standard grey, black or navy, more than 4 x blackberrys on the table at any one time.

2 – 8 points: generally allowable, though cliché sources should be treated with disdain

8 - 12 points: approaching a high level of bullshit and waffle. Put your head in your hands whenever he/she talks.

12+ points: cliché alert. Have the speaker run for Head of State, CEO of a global corporate or establish an internet start-up company.

Now I'm actually looking forward to my meeting later this afternoon just to play!

I don't need to know everything, or Why I don't understand the holes the City is digging in my road

2008-05-12T20:39:00.000-07:00

My street is under construction, and has been for two weeks running. The City has been systematically making its way from one side of my block to the other, digging up half the road lengthwise. They tell me they are installing new sewers, which I basically understand. I've seen the holes they dug, I've seen the big cement cylinders and the smaller blue cylinders that they put into the big holes they dig. But now they're on their second pass, and this I don't get. They are digging back up the parts they dug last week, which they had covered with gravel (oh the number of dump trucks I've seen!). The workers tell me they now have to reconnect the houses on the other side of my street up to the new sewers.

Now I don't understand all this. I don't know why they didn't just do the connecting the first time they dug, instead of covering up and digging again. And I don't really know what it means to connect a home to a new sewer. I assume it has something to do with pipes into or out of the house, but I don't really get all that.

Anyhow, I was thinking tonite that I don't really care to understand it. After all, it's the homes across the street they're reconnecting, not my home. And while my neighbor across the way was out having long chats with the workmen, I don't really care to know the details. I am, by nature, a very curious person, but I've realized that I am content not knowing every detail about everything.

And this is also my attitude to technology, I've decided. I do not need to be an early adopter of the latest tech toys or the new Web star. I can wait to buy an iPhone (if they ever get to Canada). I didn't have an MP3 player until a few years ago. I only got onto Facebook last year. And I have no interest in Twitter, even though a social media expert I heard speak tonite says it is the next big thing.

I like to know the basics. I understand what Twitter is and how it's being used, but I don't need to know every detail. I understand that the work on my street is about installing new sewers, but I don't need to know exactly what's in the holes they dug.

I don't think this is a lack of curiosity on my part, but rather a mellowing that has come with age. I've realized that it's a big world out there and I cannot know it all. When I was 25, I think I thought I could know everything if I just tried hard enough. Now I know I can't be an expert on everything. I'll never understand Chinese politics or astrophysics or how cricket is played. I have learned some limitations to my knowledge, and I'm okay with it. I know I could find the answers if it were important to me, but I also know I don't have to know it all.

I guess that's a sign of maturity, right?

Biking to work

2008-05-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

My consulting business has gotten very busy this month, which is great. And I think some of the clients I'm working with have potential to be longer term. My partnership is working out well too. We put in a bid for a project and we won it, so now we're knuckling down to do the work.

All this is great, but it's meant a lot less free time. Such is the life of a freelancer, of course. But when you're a busy professional and a mom, finding time for workouts gets harder and harder when your day life gets busier (and when you have to go back to the computer after the kids are in bed too!). So my triathlon training suffered a bit, until the sun came out.

We've had a lot of yucky weather in Vancouver this Spring, with lots of rain, not much sun, and here it is May but temps are still below 'seasonal', meaning the heat is still on, we're all wearing jackets and my son's t-ball games are being played without sunshine. Still there are some sunny moments, and they inspired me.

For the past few weeks, whenever I have a meeting within about 10 km of my home, I've biked. This may not seem like a big deal, but I live on a hill, in a hilly city, and there's a lot of uphill I have to bike through to get anywhere in any direction, especially returning home. But the city is also under siege by construction, so biking isn't really taking me much longer than busing or driving. And it gets my workouts in during the workday.

The best part is my wardrobe, which I believe I now have down http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifto a science. I don't want to take meetings in my biking tights, so I bring a change of clothes, but I 'change' in public. I wear 3/4 length lights and a black tank top under my biking shirt/jacket. When I get there, I change my runners for nice flats, pull a long skirt over my tights, take my biking shirt off (still wearing the tank -- see I'm never undressed!), and put on a nice top over my tank top. And voila, you'd never know I was on a bike. And since most of my meetings are downhill from me, I don't arrive too sweaty.

Last week I had a meeting at City Hall, which is on a busy street. I arrived, locked my bike on the rack right in front of the building, and proceeded to change. A driver who was sat at a red light on the street before me made wolf whistles as I changed. And frankly, I loved it!

But today's downtown meeting has just been canceled, so I guess I'll have to go biking sometime before I serve my kids dinner. Still gotta pound out those miles -- I mean kilometres.

Mid career = 2 years?

2008-05-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

A job posting crossed my desk last week from my professional organization. It was with a government organization I'm interested in working with (not necessarily a job, maybe consulting), so it peaked my interest. Right away I realized it wasn't for me, because the salary offered was at least 30% below anything I'd consider. But the part that has me bugged this morning is this:

You are an experienced mid-career ... professional who thrives in a fast-paced environment....You hold a post-secondary degree or diploma in communications, public relations or journalism and have two years as a Junior Public Affairs Officer or an equivalent combination of education and experience.

Since when is two years experience mid-career? And since when do "mid-career" jobs pay just above entry level salaries?

Who writes these things?!

I love writing!

2008-04-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

I'm writing a speech this week, and it's both immensely stressful and incredibly wonderful all at once.

Most communicators like me write speeches from time to time, but most communicators hate doing it, and/or are not very good at it. But not me. I LOVE writing speeches. And frankly, I'm pretty good at it. I wish I could write speeches all the time.

Why don't I give up the rest of my freelance work and concentrate on just speechwriting, you ask? Good question. A few years ago I thought I'd try that. I hung out my shingle as a speechwriter. I told all my contacts I was looking for speech work. I networked specifically for that end. I answered RFPs and RFIs and all those other acronyms looking for speech writing services. And I got some speech work, but not enough. The reality is, I live in a city without a lot of head offices and not a lot of government -- not a capital city of either a province/state or federal capital. And those are the places where speeches get written.

I guess if I'd wanted it badly enough, I'd have networked more and better and gotten into those places -- after all, I can write a speech from anywhere -- but after six months of trying, I decided that while I still love speech writing, it couldn't be the focus of my business.

Why do I love speeches? I think I've always had an inclination for the spoken word. I'm the girl who went on vacation to New York and came back with the accent. I'm the girl who can speak four languages but not write well in the other three at all. And of course, I do like writing. I love writing sometimes. With much of my other work, there are lots of details to deal with -- emails, media lists, calls, client discussions, etc. My day can tick by without feeling like I've really finished much of anything. But when I'm writing like this, I clear my day and concentrate on just writing. My brain clicks into creative gear, my fingers fly on the keyboard, and it feels almost luxurious to just be writing.

I only have four more days to finish a keynote speech, with a lot of weighty content, so this is a big job. But I'm really enjoying it.

I know, I know, this is something I'm passionate about so should pursue it more. Hey, how do you think I got this assignment in the first place?! ;-)

Gen Y job hunting mistakes

2008-04-25T14:58:00.000-07:00

I have a website for my public relations 'company' -- I put company in quotes because it's just me -- and I'm listed with professional organizations in my field, so from time to time I get people contacting me who are job hunting. Needless to say, I'm not hiring, but I find this amusing anyhow.

This week I got an email, obviously sent out to a group, from a young girl in Toronto (the other side of the country!), who is looking for a job. I wouldn't for a minute consider her, and here are the main reasons why:

1. She's in Toronto, but nowhere in her email does she say she'd like to relocate to Vancouver.

2. She gave me too much information about why her internship in journalism didn't work out and why she's better suited for PR. For example:

"The idea of organizing product launches excites me and this is not
something I can do in a newsroom. I can, however, talk about the toothpaste I used in the morning before coming to work, but there's no excitement there."

3. She sent me an attached resume. Bad enough her email landed in my junk folder, but if I were on a PC (which I'm not -- MAC rules!), I'd never open her attachment it for fear of viruses.

And worst of all,

4. She invites me to check out her Facebook profile, but it's not public. In fact, she says:

" I also welcome you to check out my Facebook profile..., as it is a good indication of how unique and creative my writing style is. Most importantly, it expresses the essence of ME."

I went so far as to look her up, but all I got was a name, city and photo. I guess maybe that's the essence of HER.

My conclusion is that new media options may have opened up new techniques for Gen Y job hunters, but classic mistakes never get old.

Which generation are you?

2008-04-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

Via GenerationXpert, I found this http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifthat claims to figure out what generation you belong to based on a few quick answers.

I'm Gen X, baby, all the way!

Of course, the quiz seems to have been designed by baby boomers, since Gen Xers wouldn't have used questions like:

How do you feel about work and money?

* Work should be meaningful, and money should be spent on something you love.
* Work should be short, so you can get on to your true interests. Money isn't all that important.
* Work should be as fun as possible. Life is short, so enjoy your money.
* Work hard to be financially secure, and don't waste your money.

I mean, really, that one is obvious designed to flush out the Gen Yers who, in the minds of boomers, don't care about working.

Part time job options

2008-04-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

There seem to be a lot of jobs advertised in my market lately looking for someone in my field with 5-7 years experience. This is recruiter code for an intermediate level employee. You know, not the kid fresh from university with no experience, but someone who has worked a few years, learned a bit, but not so much that they'd want to be paid well.

I am of course over-qualified for these jobs, and don't bother even considering them. But there are lots and lots of them in the past months, and some I see advertised more than once -- as if they didn't find anyone and are trying again to find someone. I don't know where are the people with 5-7 years experience are, but they don't seem to be job hunting very much.

Last week, two different senior women in my profession, each of whom I met for lunch as part of my questioning, said the same thing to me in regards to these jobs. They suggested that if the company can't find an intermediate to work full time, why wouldn't they hire a senior person to do the same job part time. Or even as a consultant. And why didn't I think about going after a job posted as full time for an intermediate and try to write my own ticket doing the job part time or through consulting.

It's an interesting proposition. I'd get a steady wage, albeit not a huge one, but if they had XX dollars for a full timer, it might not be so minimal for part time work. I'd have stability, which if you're reading my blog you know I crave. And I'd still be able to consult on other projects, keeping a variety of work going. I'd also likely keep a good deal of flexibility, which I really want given my two young kids.

Is it that simple, just call up the person advertising a job and suggest they rethink their entire proposition in favour of hiring me on my terms? I can easily picture the negotiations part and how I'd do that, but the cold contact part seems like a bigger leap.

Triathlon update for April

2008-04-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

Yikes, it's been six days since I posted anything to this blog. Shame on me! How dare I get busy with paid work, looking for paid work, throwing my kid's birthday party and preparing to have 14 people over for Passover dinner this weekend?! No excuses, back to the blogging!

Because I'm still pretty swamped, I've decided it's time for a triathlon update, since this requires less thinking on my part. I do have some thinking-related things to write up and post, but I should have more time in the next few days for those. For now, I'm sure the curiousity about my training is just killing you.

It's April now, and I've made a decision about the triathlon. No, I haven't given up, I'm still going to do it. I have decided to do it in the early summer, before the end of July. There are several races in my area that I can do, so as soon as I feel I'm ready, I'll pick one. The big question is, am I up for a full Sprint Triathlon, with 700 metres swimming, 20 km biking and 5 km running, or do I need to do a baby triathlon, usually called Try-A-Tri, where the distances are shorter, usually 300m Swim, 14km Bike, 4km Run. I do know that whichever I choose, I want to swim in a pool, not a lake or an ocean, if at all possible.

My first choice so far is a women's only race, where the swim is in a pool. The only problem is that it takes place in a community known for its mountains. I'd like to see the bike route first to know how much of it will be uphill.

I have kept up my training, even springing right back after a foot injury in late February. I'm doing about five workouts a week, trying to run twice, bike twice and swim twice, which means combining two of the above in one workout. My trainer suggested a great site to help me plan my training, so I've tried to keep it all up.

But despite all of this, I still don't think I can do it. Two hours of hard on cardio seems so far beyond my abilities. No matter how long I've been training, I still find an hour hard biking or 45 minutes hard running difficult, and I can't imagine combining them. But a goal is a goal, so scared or not, I'll do it. I just might be walking my bike up a lot of hills and walking more than I run in the run part. On the bright side, the swimming doesn't scare me a bit.

More musing on Gen X

2008-04-10T10:15:00.000-07:00

Via the Tyee, I read a terrific article and review of a book about Gen X. It's fun to find that at long last, my much-ignored generation is getting attention from the masses.

Naturally I was pulled in to read the article after the intro:

...the cultural powers that be forgot to take note of a major milestone: generation X began to turn 40. Molly Ringwald, of the quintessential Gen X film The Breakfast Club, celebrated her 40th birthday earlier this year.

I loved Molly Ringwald, didn't you? What ever happened to her?

The article interviews Jeff Gordinier, American author of the just released X Saves the World: How Generation X Got the Shaft but Can Still Keep Everything From Sucking.

Gardiner apparently discusses our origins in punk rock and slacker culture, but comes up as an optimist, believing generation X is coming into its own as a true force for change. He says our generation will clean up the world. Yeah, X! And why us? Gardiner says:

We're equipped. We're wary enough to see through delusional "movements": we're old enough to feel a connection to the past (and yet we're unsentimental enough not to get all gooey about it); we're young enough to be wired; we're snotty enough not to settle for crap; we're resourceful enough to turn crap into gold; we're quiet enough to endure our labors on the margins. Beyond that, we're all we got. Nobody else is going to do it.

Oh, right, poor suffering us are stuck with the problems. Sounds familiar.

Partnerships the key to freelance survival?

2008-04-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

I've been at a bit of a loss lately since the small agency with whom I had partnered on a lot of projects went out of business. Not only did they add value to the clients I had, but they also were a source of some referrals to me. And we often combined resources to bid on projects of bigger scope. Well, another partnership seems to be forming for me, and I'm kind of excited about it now.

I met another freelancer at a networking event and it turns out we had a lot in common. Our personal conversations are fun, interesting and stimulating. And her skills really compliment mine, without a whole tonne of overlap. And best of all, she's great at cold calling and sourcing new business, things I'm not good at nor do I enjoy. And her specialty is in an area I really want to work in -- sustainability. I've had some experience in that arena but not enough to be anywhere near the expert she is.

Anyhow, it's very early days, but we are seriously discussing formalizing some kind of work arrangement that combines our skills, making a list of target clients, then going out and knocking on doors or holding seminars or something. If it worked, this could be the kind of situation that would keep me freelancing for a while longer, before I had to give up the freedom and go 9-to-5-ing. And since my kids are still pretty young, another year or two of this would be lovely.

This is the first time in ages that I've felt invigorated about the possibilities of refreshing my freelance offering. Of course, that's today. Tomorrow could be a different mood swing. After all, I am 40 now. Doesn't that mean pre-menopausal mood swings are due to start?

Reinventing yourself is like a good marketing campaign

2008-04-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

My nomination for best re-invention is the Diamond Shreddies campaign. They took something that worked just fine as it was, and found a way to reposition it so people could connect with the brand in a better way. They added excitement without changing the product.

How can I make that kind of re-invention work for my business life? I like the kind of work I do and how I do it, but I need to get myself better situated to bring in clients at a different level. I want to be perceived in a different way so that I can attract a more stable kind of client, or a stable job situation. I'd like potential clients and employers to see me as I see myself -- senior, strategic, great writer -- but in a package that attracts the big money.

Should I give my company a new name and brand? Rewrite my resume? Turn myself sideways and call myself a diamond?

Everyone has a story

2008-04-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

I was watching the news this morning with my kids, when my five year old asked me, "If there's nothing happening, do they just make up the news?" So I talked to him about how if nothing is happening anywhere in the world, the news people will just tell good stories. Everyone has a story to tell, I said.

Now my son, being five, said "What's my story?", and then I spent the next ten minutes making fake news reports about each member of my family: My five year old's story was about the trend of his daycare situation (he's in two different programs because as a January baby, he's too old for the 3-5 year-old program but too young for kindergarten); My seven year old's story is about his prowess at such a young age as an indoor rock climber; My husband about how obsessed he is with neat and orderly that he mowed the neighbor's lawn.

Later this morning I got to thinking about how true it is that everyone has a news story in them, even if it's just a profile or interesting angle about their lives. I had lunch yesterday with a journalist friend, and when the subject came around to my career questing, I asked her if she thinks about leaving journalism to join 'the dark side" and work in public relations, a move many, many of us PR types have made. Her answer was that she wasn't ready to give up reporting yet, because there are too many great stories out there to tell.

I've worked in PR for most of my career, but from time to time I do take journalism work, just to keep my hand in. And while it never pays well, and is never glamorous stuff (my last assignment was a profile of a machining shop, for example), it's fun to find the story in every person, company or situation.

I guess that's what I do in PR as well. I help clients find their stories, tell their stories, and get their stories told by the media and their customers. And I do it well, I think. It's one of my favourite parts about my work. I should remember that when the time comes to make any career changes.

What's your story?

All networked out...

2008-03-31T10:27:00.000-07:00

One of my biggest complaints about freelancing is the constant search for new work. Sometimes, all the stars align and work just flows in. People just email or call and ask me to take on projects. For a couple years, one big project just followed another. Well, feast or famine as a freelancer means that sometimes we all have to go back into work-hunt mode. I call it trolling for work.

I spent a lot of time last quarter trolling for work, because my well had gone pretty dry. It did pay off, and now I've got a good number of projects to keep me busy for the short term. But it's meant a lot of networking. And for fear of growing complacent with the work I have and finding myself back in the same situation again in a couple months, I've done more networking this past month than I'd like. I feel like I'm constantly running out to a breakfast or lunch meeting, or having coffee with someone. Last week was perhaps the worst -- I had three breakfasts, two lunches and an afternoon coffee, all while I was on a couple deadlines. My family is of course none too pleased with the running out part too, since it leaves a burden on my partner to get the kids off to school when I leave at 6:30 am to get downtown for a networking event.

I've tried to be smart in choosing what events to attend. I only go if the topic and/or speaker interests me, and I look for opportunities to meet new people who might be in positions to recommend me for work. So I don't go to very many business-card exchange groups, you know, where there's one person from each profession all looking for business from each other. I've found over the years that while these are great ways to meet people, they don't put me in touch with people who make decisions about the kind of work I do. Instead I look for board of trade events, or associations in industries for whom I'd like to do more work. Last week I went to a presentation about marketing (met some interesting marketers, who might be good contacts for communications work down the road), a board of trade breakfast about media (met a lawyer whose clients might need my services, and a fellow communicator who I can help get involved in more professional development. But I also found myself at a couple events where I misjudged the crowd. At one breakfast, I felt like the oldest person in the room, with all these Gen Y types who are just starting their careers.

I'm not saying there's not value in every person you meet -- a contact isn't just one person, it's everyone they know. And I know networking isn't about meeting people who hire me, but rather about seeing how I can help them, or connect them with someone they need to meet, in order to show value and build karma. I know what I'm supposed to do at these events and I do it not too badly, I think. But it's tiring, and I've had a lot of it recently.

I guess that's why I'm considering leaving freelance life. Not that I don't love the fresh fruit and croissants, but sometimes it would be nice to do less of it.

BONUS FACT: When I'm at one of these lunch things at a downtown hotel, I always skip dessert. Instead, I ask a waiter if he can get me a plate of fresh fruit. I almost always get it, and it always looks and tastes great. Most of my table usually copies me once they see it.

The etiquette of being stood up

2008-03-27T08:33:00.000-07:00

What is the proper behaviour when you're sat at the meeting spot, waiting for the person you had arranged to meet, and the time of your meeting has come and gone. When you've been stood up, what is the correct etiquette?

A couple weeks ago I was supposed to meet a woman for coffee at a coffee shop (which is common when you're a freelancer without a downtown office), and twenty minutes after our meeting time had come and gone, I knew I'd been stood up. In this case, I had asked to meet her because I was looking for a graphic designer that I could recommend to a client, so it was in her best interest to meet me. Unfortunately I didn't have her phone number with me, and all I had was my cell phone, not even email (I know, how behind-the-times of me!) Anyhow, I finally remembered the name of her design studio, borrowed the phone book from the coffee shop and called her office. Her assistant didn't know what was up, but called me back within minutes to say the lady I was meeting had been delayed and would be able to be there in 15 minutes. So that would have been 35 minutes past the meeting time. Frankly, I had stuff to do with me and I could have stayed, but decided not to, and told her assistant she should call me to reschedule (which she did, and we did meet another day, and all is forgiven). At that moment, I was feeling like I'd look too pathetic if I waited that long for someone who didn't even try to get a hold of me to say she'd be that late (and I know she had my number that day!). Did I do the right thing?

And then this week, I had a drink scheduled after work with a colleague, one of my discussions. We'd set it up more than a week ago, so I called her office just to confirm. Imagine my surprise when I got her voicemail saying she was on holiday today and not checking messages. So I pressed "0" and asked her assistant what was up. She was equally confused, saying she didn't know any meetings were planned, and would try to reach my colleague and have her call me that day anyhow. Well, no call, so I didn't head to the meeting spot, and haven't heard from her in two days since. In this case, I want the meeting, so I'll call her today and see if we can try again.

But what's up with being stood up? Is there a proper way to say "hey buddy, you stood me up!" in a business context? I think I'll do some research online today and see if anyone has any good advice.

Contract jobs

2008-03-25T21:50:00.000-07:00

I've been wondering if the current trend in working is more people working for themselves or more people working as employees. If the labour shortage is so bad, is that because everyone has given up corporate life for self-employment, or is it because everyone is taking jobs and there just aren't enough people left for the vacancies?

A recent article in the Globe and Mail caught my eye on this topic. It's all about the trend of contract work, where an agency places you in a company for a temporary, albeit full-time gig. The article talked mainly about finance, law, and tech contracts -- I know of only one agency in my area that deals in communications, my field, and it's mainly junior jobs or design work, not my thing. But it got me thinking.

Would a full-time, short term project be preferable to many clients? I guess it comes down to variety and flexibility. The nice thing about freelancing for many clients is that I can schedule my own time. Of course, the nice thing about a full time contract is the stability of income for a longer time period than freelancing, but would the client be as understanding if I wanted to take the morning off to go on a field trip with my kid's school?

The Big Day is Here!

2008-03-18T09:07:00.001-07:00

This is the big day. I've now officially left my 30s behind and head into the next decade. Head held high, smile on my face, I've greeted the day and it grinned back.

I've always said I didn't fear being 40, and now the real test is here. So far, so good. I woke up snuggled in my husband's arms, then my kids ran in and more hugs. They made me breakfast in bed, and when I finally came down I found a bunch of birthday wishes on my facebook page and in my email. I'd say overall it's been a good start to my 40s.

More seriously, I do not fear this decade and never did. I'm where I thought I should be at this time of my life basically. Married, own a home, two kids, decent career to date -- all on track. I'm pretty healthy (despite needing to lose some weight!), training for a triathlon, well read, traveled -- what more could I ask for?

Oh yeah, some clarity on the future of my career would be nice. Just because I've hit the big 4-0 doesn't mean my career trek changes. But for today, I put all that aside and focus on enjoying my day. Now if only I didn't have to deal with two six year olds invading my home office space this morning, but that's the down side of having a birthday during Spring Break.

And I do have a babysitter booked and a lovely dinner out to look forward to this evening. Yup, so far I'm liking 40.

Introductions

2008-03-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago I met someone who works in advertising, which is outside my usual field but not so far away that a transition might be made. Anyhow, she mentioned a few people I might talk to about that kind of transition, but she didn't offer to introduce me, she just pulled some phone numbers off her blackberry. And I admit, I haven't followed them up yet.

And then today, the New York Times Shifting Careers blog has a great column on introductions.

I'm a big fan of this blog and read it regularly, and love when Marci Alboher writes something that directly relates to my career discovery. Today she talks about following up on introductions. She discusses the different ways people follow up those kind of "You should meet..." and why it matters.

I've had a lot of meetings lately where people are always naming other people I should meet. I have tried to follow all of them up, but sometimes I don't. It has really depended on the type of introduction offered. Marci has her categories of introductions, but I see them a bit differently. These are the types of intros I usually see, which apply equally to networking for more freelance work as they do to my career discovery.

Type 1: Contact offers to introduce me and does, usually copying me on intro. These I always follow up, and usually find immensely helpful. Sometimes I have to prompt the introduction later, with a call or email asking my contact to make the introduction, but still they do the first intro so when I get in touch, that person knows who I am.

Type 2: Contact suggests someone I should meet, then emails me name and contact details later, but leaves me to introduce myself. I usually follow these up, but it does feel a bit like a cold call so my ego has to be strong the day I do it.

Type 3: Contact names someone and says I should talk to them, but doesn't introduce me or even pass on contact info -- usually saying something like "I can't remember his contact information but I'm sure you can google him and find it." Or they throw a phone number at me during our meeting (nearly always off their blackberry!)., like my advertising contact did. I don't always follow these up. This feels worse than Type 2 because it almost seems like I'm being flubbed off with a couple names. This feels like an even bigger cold call, which means my ego has to be super strong to make this kind of call.

Of course this is what networking is all about, and whether the goal is more freelance work, a new job, or even a first job out of school, this is how you do it. For my part, I'm going to resolve for the next month to follow up every contact given to me, and to make every introduction I promised a "Type 1" introduction. So I guess I have some calls to make today.

Happy Monday!

Timing the job market, post Olympics?

2008-03-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

A friend told me this week she thinks that the job market will freeze up in my province after the 2010 Olympics are over. There's been so much hype about job creation and business booming because Vancouver is hosting the Winter Olympics, that I found her comments surprising. But she makes a good argument.

In the buildup to the big event, everyone is optimistic, spending money, staffing up. Then for a month or so we all work and play full out during the event (well, events plural, really, because the Paralympics are also coming here). But after that, all those people whose jobs revolved around some aspect of the games then become out of work. And suddenly the labour market gets overrun with people looking for jobs.

I had seen it differently. I thought that between the much-talked-about labour shortage and the boom in business from the Olympics and resulting economic development, the job market would stay constant before, during and after the games.

If my friend is right, perhaps I should think about finding a job sinecure before the fall of 2009, because after that I might find it harder to land a job. Or maybe not...

Counting down to 40

2008-03-12T09:48:00.001-07:00

Just for the record, my 40th birthday is now six days away. I'm not depressed or anxious, nor am I excited and exhuberant. I've come to realize that turning 40 isn't a day for me. Because of this whole rethink-my-life thing I'm going through, which started at least three months before my birthday and will no doubt continue long after, turning 40 is more like a whole year for me.

That said, I did just get my hair done and dyed out the grey. No reason why I should LOOK 40! ;-)

Is Gen Y pressuring Gen X to get a move on?

2008-03-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

I've written before about Linda Duxbury, a very smart lady at Carleton University who is an expert on workplace demographics and its affect on careers and jobs. I was re-reading her notes about the conflicts between generations today and this struck me:

...contentious situations will arise. The Boomers see the youngest generation as lazy. Generation X thinks the youngest generation are spoiled brats...Generation Y feels that no one respects or listens to them. They want an opportunity to learn and a mentor, not just a blunt, in-your-face boss who tells them what to do.

Now that I'm considering giving up the freelance life and taking a job, should I be worried about competing with Generation Yers? And if they're competing with me for jobs, do I need to change my perceptions and expectations of the workplace to be up there with them? One thing about freelancing all these years is that I haven't shared too many work situations with the younger set.

Is there a lot of resentment from Gen Y about Gen X? I know we Gen Xers resented the heck out of the baby boomers when we were in our 20s, because they had all the job and all the potential advancement, and we were under employed and lacking in opportunities. Does Gen Y want us out of the way now, or are they less bitter and actually appreciate our experience?

Asking potential clients what they think

2008-03-11T11:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever considered hiring an outside person to survey potential clients about you and how they perceive you? I know I've written previously about the idea of a perception audit, but this is different.

I met yesterday with a researcher who has his own business, who recently rebranded and refocused what he does. He talked about having spent nearly a year figuring it all out (and I'm not even at half a year, so I guess I'm doing okay). As part of his investigation of what he wants to be when he grows up (still the way I think of all this!), he actually hired an outside researcher to talk to CEOs at companies with whom he wants to work someday, as well as some of his past clients, to find out what they think of him and his skills. It all turned out okay for him, but that must have been really hard to do. Not only do you put yourself out there, but imagine hearing things you don't want to, like maybe you're not perceived the way you want to be, or that they think you're not as good at certain things as you thought, or that they wouldn't contract you at all.

I don't think I'm courageous enough to take that kind of step, but it does bear thinking about. Would you get an outsider to research your prospects?

Monday morning up and at 'em!

2008-03-10T09:13:00.000-07:00

It's been a relaxing weekend with the family and very little work stress, which means I need to get off my duff and get some work going now. Starting the day in my home office, once the hubby and kids are out of the house, takes one of two tones with me:

1. I'm right to the computer and digging into a project straight away, and barely pick my head up until my stomach grumbles for lunch; or

2. I make another cup of tea, read the newspaper, scan the blogs, and try to drag my brain into work mode.

This approach seemed to be pretty constant whether I worked at home or in an office. I remember one job where a co-worker would start and finish early, so when I came in he'd been there for an hour, but almost never seemed to have moved far beyond the tea and newspaper stage. In his defense though, we did work in media relations so we needed to read papers as part of our job, but not the lifestyle section.

Do you find the Monday morning get-up-and-go is any different if you're at a workplace or a home office?

Downside to taking a job?

2008-03-05T11:44:00.000-08:00

I was at a work-type reception last night where I did some great networking as well as catching up with some friends/colleagues. One woman who does what I do and is also a freelancer, was surprised that I was considering taking a 9-to-5 job in the near future, and when I got home that night, found she had sent me this article on How to Suck Up to Your Boss. Her comment was "Consider this before jumping to the salaried world."

Funny that this was her first reaction. She's one of the first freelancers I've talked to about the possibility of job hunting, and if this article reflects her reaction to moving from freelance to a job, maybe I should give this idea more thought. My favourite part of the article:

The larger issue at hand is respecting the boss' position. This is a new concept to many people, particularly those employees who are right out of school and are used to working independently. You might try saying something like, "I have these ideas, but I will defer to your decision."

If all this feels icky, just hold your nose and remember it's about career advancement. And that's something most people can support.

I know it's a big adjustment to move from freelance to a job, but is it really this bad?

Changing my image

2008-03-04T07:33:00.000-08:00

I've recently written about perception and trying to upgrade how I'm perceived by others in my profession. So this article about fixing your image was very good reading.

One of the easiest ways to change peoples’ perceptions of you is with your clothes. ...The world is not tracking the number of outfits you have and when you wear them. So if you can afford it, buy a few well-made outfits instead of a lot of cheap outfits. Low rotation is your best long-term strategy. Build a wardrobe of good clothes that fit well and you look like you’ve got your act together.

It's advice I've heard before, but since I've just come back from the US for a short holiday, and shopping in another city is so much more fun than shopping at home, it was good to be reminded about the kind of wardrobe for which I should aim.

How am I perceived?

2008-02-25T14:10:00.000-08:00

I read an article recently about whether you really are a strategist, and one line really jumped out at me:

If you are a strategist, then quit talking about it and do it.

This brought me back to a conversation I had with a senior woman in my profession that I wanted to share here. I've been having a lot of these discussions in the past couple months, trying to get a better handle on my career goals.

This one woman, who I've known for many years but with whom I haven't worked in more than five years, was illuminating about how others in my profession in town view me. She asked about my recent work, and seemed a bit surprised to learn about the senior level of work I've done in the last half decade. Of course, my career has advanced a great deal since last I worked with her, and my projects and clients bear that out. But in her mind, I was not necessarily at that senior level.

She suggested I conduct a "perception audit" -- find out what people think of me. It's a common tactic for public relations, to gain a benchmark of understanding of how the client is perceived by their target audiences, stakeholders etc. But I had never thought of applying it to myself. But when the lightbulb went on, I realized that perhaps I wasn't trying hard enough to project the career image of myself to others that I held in my own head. I've always looked young, and because I've been a freelancer for so many years, I haven't had job titles to build public perception of how my career has grown.

Then there's my physical image. I tend to be a casual person, and I am not a big one for dressing up if I don't have to. But my colleague made the point that it's not about suits and heels, but about how I carry myself and the confidence I project. And I think it's true that when I look more professional and senior (not in age, but in career responsibility), I act that way just a bit more. And that may improve how others view me.

If I want to find either a job or better freelance security, to make the money I think I deserve it will have to be 'senior' work. So it's important that people like her view me at that level. I'm going to do a bit more asking around on this topic when I do more of my 'career goals conversations' from here on out, and I've already begun to dress up for ordinary meetings, if only to boost my own self-confidence.

How would you go about doing a perception audit for yourself, or your own "brand"?

A celebration trip

2008-02-22T11:38:00.000-08:00

My husband, not one for surprises, surprised me last month when he announced that he'd arranged for his parents to come to town to stay with our kids for four nights so we could go away as a celebration trip for my big 4-0. He didn't plan the trip or anything, but that in and of itself was a very lovely gesture (are you listening, men?!). Since my actual birthday (March 18 in case you were wondering) falls during a school holiday, which raises the prices and the anxiety of my kids if they were left on that week, we're going two weeks before the big day.

Anyhow, we're off next week for a four night getaway to Sedona, Arizona.

It will be the longest we've ever gone away for without the kids, and while I'm nervous about my in-laws surviving the boys, I'm excited about the trip. Any advice from anyone who's been to Sedona of what to see or do?

Money -- how to charge more

2008-02-22T10:33:00.001-08:00

As a freelancer, I've had good years and bad years when it came to money. The last two or three years have been very good years, with some long-term, lucrative contracts. But the last quarter has not been that good. I command a pretty good hourly rate from most of my clients, and when business is good I have no trouble naming that price. But in the lean months, I'm always tempted to drop my rate to find more work. I know bigger business call it "cash flow" or "loss leaders", but to me it's just a lower rate.

I found this article about charging more as a freelancer very interesting. It's got a lot of great advice about believing you're worth the high rate and why clients won't question it if you believe you're worth it. But the final comment was most interesting:

You’ll have a much easier time convincing clients that you’re worth it if your work is outstanding, or if you increase your potential to do outstanding work by building your skill-set and capabilities.

Part of charging your dream rates is a personal transformation into the kind of freelancer you’ve always dreamed of being.

In light of what I learned last week about passion and its relationship to money, this last sentence got me thinking a lot.

Triathlon update

2008-02-20T07:15:00.000-08:00

I thought since I've started talking about my triathlon training that I'd keep posting periodic updates.

I found a great website, Beginner Triathlete, and my personal trainer has helped me put together a plan based on the site. Turns out I was training a bit too hard some days, then not hard enough others. I'm using the site's plan as a model and working with it as much as possible.

The weather has gotten better here so I've finally gotten outside on my bike. Of course, the only time I could bike on the weekend was when I had to take care of my five year old, so the bike ride involved pulling about 60 pounds behind me (well, really he was on a third-wheel attached to my bike, but since he didn't add much power, it was like pulling him). And even though I picked a flat route, it was hard. I'm really beginning to think the biking part of the tri might be the toughest part.

But undeterred, I even got out for a run Monday night with my run clinic. it's good to have people to push me along.

26 days till 40!

Searching passion

2008-02-18T20:58:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days -- assuming anyone is actually reading what I'm writing. It's kind of strange to put this out there without really knowing if anyone is following. But I started this more to help myself by putting it all in writing and committing to the process, so even if no one is reading, I'm still writing.

Anyhow, in my last post I explained how I figured out how important it is to figure out what I'm passionate about. The problem is, I'm having a lot of trouble with that.

I've spent a lot of my career as a generalist, and while there are a lot of clients I've really enjoyed and others that really speak to my heart, I'm not really sure where my passion lies. And it's been pretty heart-wrenching to realize that at 40, I don't know where my professional passions truly lie. I have some ideas though, and have been doing a lot of mulling over. It's why I haven't posted for a few days.

For some people it seems easy to find their passion. But for me, it's been a big soul searcher, and I'm not close to an answer yet. I guess I'm grateful at least to know that once I figure it out, the rest might be easier...

What's my passion?

2008-02-13T14:03:00.000-08:00

I had a coffee this morning with another person, a man this time, in my field to get an opinion from someone who's been in the PR business longer than me. I've been doing this a lot, asking for input about what I should aspire to if I stay in this field for another 20+ years. And his take was a bit different than the others.

Mostly to date, I've been hearing that I'll need to take a job, either with an agency or a corporate job, to build some specific expertise and contacts. The advice I've heard a lot is that I should go in-house for a couple years, try for as much flexibility as I can but expect to work regular office hours without much time for the kind of work-life balance I have now as a freelancer. And after I pay my dues, so to speak, then take steps to either gain more flexibility from my employer (who now will be willing to make concessions to keep me) or to go back to freelancing but from a position of more strength.

But today I heard something else. My collegaue today told me that if I could find my passion, the thing I like best about my work, and become the best at doing it, I could find the money and security that are perhaps more illusive in my current freelance career. He drew me a picture, which he credits to this book:

His point was that if I find my passion and it's something I can be or am the best at, I can find the money. And to me, this says that maybe, if I can figure out the passion part, I can stay as a freelancer for another 20 years.

But figuring out my passion is easier said than done. I've had a career primarily as a generalist, so to narrow it down is hard. But I do have some ideas, which I'm going to give serious mulling-over time to now.

Doing a trialathon

2008-02-11T14:31:00.000-08:00

One of the work-life blogs I've been following ran a post last week titled "Go do a triathlon, yes you!"

Ironically, I'm already training for one. Not that this is really about my work dilemma, but it is related to my turning 40.

Many years ago I promised myself that the year I turn 40 I would do a triathlon. This is a big thing for me, because I'm not very athletic, I carry around extra weight and my commitment to exersize has been spotty in the last five years.

But a promise is a promise, and that year is here, so I'm going for it. I've got a trainer who I see every few weeks for a check-in, and I'm starting to gear up. My goal is just to finish a 'tri', not to get a great finishing time, and I'm looking to do one of the shorter ones, a "sprint" distance so I can compete with all the other middle-aged ladies instead of the Olympic athletes.

And now that I've admitted it here in writing, there's no backing out. I guess I'd better get out for a run tonight, rain or no rain! What crazy commitments did you make with a milestone birthday?

Discrimination against older workers

2008-02-11T14:11:00.000-08:00

Not that I think that at 40 (well, 39 for another monhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifth) I'm "older", but this post from LifeTwo was still an interesting read.

I really like how it listed the way younger and older workers are perceived:

Stereotypes exist for workers of all ages. Generally speaking, younger workers are considered:

Physically more able and healthy
Easier to supervise
Lower salary expectations
Willing to use new technology
Creative
Energetic

While mature workers are considered:

Experienced
Reliable
Stable
Loyal
Have good practical knowledge
Mature

As I examine myself and my personal growth over the past two decades, I'd say the latter list does apply. That said, I'm pretty fit at 40, creative and open to new technology, so maybe I'm really part way between the two. Where do you fit?

Selling yourself

2008-02-07T09:13:00.000-08:00

When I started out on this quest for new career goals, it probably had a lot to do with my current work situation. As a freelancer, we get used to work coming and going, ebbing and flowing, raining and drought -- okay, enough metaphors, you get my point. Well I had a few really great years, lots of ebbing and little flowing.

But those years are not now. Right now I'm feeling insecure about my ability to keep generating freelance work. It's not that I have no work, but after doing really well for so long, it's disheartening to not be raking in the dough or the projects.

I know I should just be out there selling myself, but that I think is the problem. I love doing the work I do, and I really enjoy the work-life balance I've had by being self-employed. But I have always hated knocking on doors (figuratively speaking). I'm great at giving proposals and winning business when someone asks me to bid, but not so great at cold calling.

I wonder if I wasn't having this current work crisis if I'd be in such a rush to redefine my work goals. I guess it's a blessing to happen to me now so I can rethink things now, rather than later when I might be even more entrenched and unwilling to make a change. The only thing I've decided for sure so far is that I don't want to be trolling for work like this for 25 more years. There must be a better way...

Who do you ask for career advice?

2008-02-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

Via the Globe and Mail, I read a news blurb that said that for most people, their spouse is the preferred person to offer career counsel.

Who's the first person you'd go to for guidance on a career change? Your spouse, a survey finds.

Forty six per cent of 150 senior executives said they'd turn first to a spouse or significant other when evaluating a potential job change, up from 42 per cent when asked five years early, the survey by staffing service Accountemps finds.

Next up: a mentor, chosen by 41 per cent, up from 28 per cent in 2002.

After that, the executives opted for a co-worker or other family member, chosen by 4 per cent each, then a friend, selected by 3 per cent, or someone else, at 2 per cent.

I don't know if that's true in my case. I talk things like over a lot with my husband, but he doesn't work in my field at all, so has no idea what I'm talking about when I discuss my options. Of course, asking the blogosphere for advice is probably not the best thing either, is it?

I guess by making my list of women in my profession who I admire and picking their brains one at a time, I'm consulting mentor types. Who do you ask?http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

Aging is depressing (until 50)??

2008-02-05T12:16:00.000-08:00

I read an article recently in the Globe and Mail that discussed a new research study about being happy in mid-life. It said that aroudn the world,

most of us bottom out in our mid-40s, describing ourselves as unhappy or even depressed.

But here's the good news: We bounce back and describe ourselves as happier in our 50s and 60s.

Does this explain my mid-life crisis? If it does, at least there's a bright side in the next decade...

When is it too late to change careers?

2008-02-04T09:18:00.000-08:00

When is it too late to change careers?

Via U-Turn Ahead, I found an interesting website called Life Two, which is all about mid-life crises, personal and professional. Some of it hit home.

I like this article about when to change careers. It quotes from a newspaper article that says essentially, if you're going to change, do it before 50, because after that you're too old.

I guess I'm not alone then in thinking that career goals seem to extend only as far as middle age. We grow up with a focus on the first 20 work years -- get a job, build a career, earn good money, then settle in and keep it up for the next 20 years. That's the part I find unsatisfying. There must be more to it for the second half of work life.

When is it too late to find new career goals?

Another take on agencies

2008-02-01T10:36:00.000-08:00

I had lunch last week with another senior woman at a different PR agency. She's been with them for more than a decade, and is even in charge of recruitment for the agency now. This lunch wasn't quite as flattering as the last one. She didn't think there was a place at a PR agency for someone over 40, and was steering me more towards a corporate job.

I asked her what was my best bet to sustain a career into my latter decades, and she went right for the full-time, corporate gig. Basically, take a full-time job, work it for a couple years, then either convince the employer to relax my hours for more work-life balance, or take what I learned on the job, contacts and all, and go back to freelancing.

Not what I really wanted to hear, but it's certainly an opinion I've expected.

On a brighter note, however, she did say that my career to date isn't really missing anything I'd need to get that kind of job. She gave me a real pep talk about finding the right fit if I do take a job.

I do realize a full-time job is in my near future, but I'd like to put it off for a while if I can. My youngest kid starts kindergarten next year, and I'd really like to freelance for a few more years to have more time for the kids if I can.

But when do you become "too old" to be hired for a job like that? Do I have more opportunities at 40 than I would at 44 or 48?

Keeping focused on career exploration when work is busy

2008-01-31T09:47:00.000-08:00

I've spent a lot of time in the past weeks contemplating my career. I've had the time to do it because my freelance business was slow. Scary slow, for the first time in a couple years. And it had been slow for a couple months. I would have probably done all this navel-gazing at some point this year, since I'll turn 40 whether my business is busy or not. But I'm pretty sure I got started, blog and all, because I had the time.

Well, like all freelancers, work ebbs and flows. And this last week the ebb started flowing a bit better. Still not long-term, relax-about-paying-the-mortgage, but busy nonetheless. Which means the time left to me for blog writing and career exploration has lessened.

I knew this would happen, but I don't want to lose focus. I didn't go into this just because work was slow. I'm very serious about sorting out my career future, and want to keep at it.

I'll need to find a way to fit this in.

Finding a work partner?

2008-01-28T21:10:00.000-08:00

I learned last week that a very small marketing agency I've partnered with occasionally is folding its tents and joining up with a bigger agency. While it's great news for them, I'm a bit down about it.

When I heard, I realized that one option I had been considering for the near future was to partner up with a like-minded person or small group to work on stuff together. I've had this informal relationship with the folding agency for a few years, and we've done some great projects together. I think in the back of my mind I thought down the road I'd talk to them about moving in-house with them, which may have lessened my need to constantly source work, while still getting to work on interesting projects.

The folding agency and I shared the same work philosophy and ethical interests, so it's really disappointing to me to lose them as a partner. Their new agency is great people, but they don't use freelancers, or at least when they do, they don't pay any where near what I need to be paid.

Still, it does get me thinking about how I would find that kind of partner. The right small group situation might allow enough freedom to keep my independence feeling, while sharing resources and client development. Would it make it easier to keep from the constant fear of not having enough work to pay the mortgage if I shared the burden?